Rolling The Ball~

This Is The End..........

2010-07-19T18:28:00.000-04:00

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land
Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah........

Week One: Stats On My Walking

2010-05-06T18:06:00.000-04:00

So yesterday was day 7, the end of the first week of walking. I feel pretty good about yesterday as I bested a personal record set just 5 days prior....in fact the whole week has been record breaking for me as I've never walked so much before and I'm actually kind of liking it. I have kept with it, rain or shine, early in the morning and late in the evening and everything in between.... So, here are the stats!

Day 1- Thursday, April 29th: 197 lbs. starting weight, 6.87 miles walked, 463 calories burned.

Day 2- Friday, April 30th: 10.24 miles walked, 1092 calories burned, 18,025 steps of which 12,494 were aerobic

Day 3- Saturday, May 1st: 198.4 lbs (I figured the pain must weigh AT LEAST 5lbs, right??) 9.45 miles walked, 963 calories burned, 11,066 steps of which 6,636 were aerobic.

Day 4- Sunday, May 2nd: 10.12 miles walked, 1120 calories burned, 17,824 steps of which 15,442 were aerobic

Day 5- Monday, May 3rd: 199.2 lbs (the scale and I had it out 2 days prior and if I got my translation correct 199.2 is scale for "fuck you, fatty!", I assured her the frozen pizza meant nothing to me but she wasn't having it...needless to say we are no longer on speaking terms) 8.68 miles walked, 882 calories burned, 15,285 steps of which 5106 were aerobic

Day 6- Tuesday, May 4th: this was NOT a good day! I figured since the scale had accused me of cheating I would just have an outright fast food orgy and, I am embarrassed to say, I was quite bad....I will admit to you that on this day I ate 2 $1 menu chicken sandwiches from Burger King, a dbl. cheeseburger from BK, 2 McDoubles and an apple pie from McDonald's...but hey, I DID order the DIET soda! I walked a pathetic 1.68 miles this day and I'm sure most of that was inside Wal-Mart looking for tin foil and fly paper.....tail between my legs ;(

Day 7- Wednesday, May 5th: Determined to atone for my gross overeating and lack of walking I hit a personal all time best of just over 11 miles! (however, I wrote down my stats early so as not to forget, so I will be listing the official numbers written) 10.7 miles walked, 1095 calories burned, 18,877 steps of which 14,472 were aerobic

Weekly Totals:

Miles Walked: 57.74 (I was really hoping to have hit @ least 60 but I will be happy with this number as it's the best I have ever done and I'm proud of that)

Calories Burned: 5615 (this might about cover my menu from Tuesday....ugh!)

And now for your free download to add some pep to your own walking mix....after the jump!

This was one of my faves I walked to this week, great beat, got me really moving! Click the down arrow on the Mp3 player to download the song and add to your walking mix!

"Galvanize" is the first single from The Chemical Brothers' 2005 album Push the Button. It was released a week before the album's release and peaked at #3 in the UK charts (see 2005 in music). It won the Grammy Award for Best Dance Recording in February 2006.

The track features a distinct Moroccan string sample from Najat Aatabou's song "Just Tell Me the Truth". The main hook of the song is in an unusual 6/4 time signature. The track also features rapping by Q-Tip (formerly of A Tribe Called Quest). In part of the song, a sample from their early single Leave Home plays.

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

2010-05-03T10:45:00.001-04:00

Over the last seven days...

Ohio: Pastor James A. Blaine charged with embezzling more than $100K from his church.

California: Pastor Jeffrey Allen Waisner sentenced to three years in prison for sex with a 14 year-old girl.

Texas: Pastor Jerod Rost charged with felony assault on a 13 year-old boy over a football argument between the boy and Rost's son.

Washington: Pastor Michael Louis Anthony charged with child rape for affair with 15 year-old girl.

New Jersey: Rabbi Eliahu Ben Haim confesses on tape to multimillion dollar money laundering scheme.

Maryland: Pastor Jerry Bartley charged with 70 felony counts for molesting a six year-old girl. Bartley was already accused of molesting a 13 year-old boy.

Utah: Pastor William J. Blanscet sentenced to three months in jail for exposing himself over webcam to an undercover officer he thought was an underage girl.

Kentucky: Pastor Daniel Gabbard sentenced to 20 years in prison for DUI homicide.

Italy: Father Ruggero Conti on trial for molesting seven boys. Conti's bishop has admitted that he knew of the accusations years ago but did nothing.

Latvia: Vicar Agris Levalds charged with molesting numerous orphan boys, some of whom are mentally challenged.

Brazil: Father Jose Afonso charged with molesting eight altar boys.

This Week's Winner
Missouri: Father Gerald Howard has been indicted on eight felony counts of child molestation and kidnapping. Howard entered the priesthood as Carmine Sita, but after numerous accusations of child molestation, he was sent to a secret rehab clinic for Catholic priests and was then reassigned by his bishop to a new parish under a changed name. Howard was arrested this week at his New Jersey home and awaits extradition to Missouri, where he faces multiple life sentences.

(via Joe.My.God)

Am I A Big Loser? : Spring Weight Loss Challenge From RTB~

2010-04-29T12:42:00.006-04:00

Ok fellow fatty's, spring has sprung and the weather is beautiful and I'm dying to fit into my 33w shorts come June! So I am challenging myself to lose a minimum of 17lbs. in the next 6 weeks....and you're all invited to take the journey with me! I have weighed myself today prior to eating anything and w/out clothing (I know, not a visual you wanted, but hey it had to be done) so I could get an accurate reading and stop fudging the numbers based on what I THOUGHT my clothes weighed.

I am starting this challenge at a current weight of 197lbs. which to be honest I'm not horribly broken up about as a starting point because at least I'm under the 200 mark....but I'm determined to get to 180lbs. or lower dammit!

I know I'll never have a Calvin Klein underwear body or 6 pack abs but I at least want a flat(ish) stomach and to avoid needing to shop for a training bra before my daughter does!

I will be putting fresh batteries in my pedometer and tracking my mileage and weighing myself e/o day and giving weekly progress reports on the blog. Who's with me!!??

Pix of my flabby ass body (if you dare) after the jump...blech! But I wanted a visual record to accompany my progress...

UPDATE: I must tell you having the motivation is KEY and for me that comes in the form of a great mix of music...so I think having the right tunes is imperative for success and to that end I will be posting a weekly "must have" song for your walking mix! This week's song comes to you from a 1987 one off collaboration of 4ad artists A.R. Kane & Colourbox calling themselves MARRS, the song, "Pump Up The Volume", kicks major ass & is considered the first UK number one to contain samples from other songs....it was nominated for a Grammy in 1989. Enjoy after the jump! (I have included the original video and below that is an Mp3 player on which the far right side is an arrow pointing down so you can download the track & add to your iPod or burn to cd! I will attempt to do this w/ each song so you can listen to what I am to stay motivated!)
Here's me Day 1 of my challenge, weighing in @ 197lbs.

RTB~ Exclusive!! : NEW OMD "Sister Mary (demo)"

2010-04-26T11:37:00.002-04:00

Here is your EXCLUSIVE first listen to the brand new OMD track from their forthcoming 11th studio album The History Of Modern, due later this year.

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (often abbreviated to OMD) are a synthesiser group whose founding members are originally from the Wirral Peninsula, England. OMD record for Virgin Records (originally for Virgin's Dindisc Records subsidiary). The group was founded in 1978 by Andy McCluskey and Paul Humphreys. Adding Malcolm Holmes and Martin Cooper by the end of 1980, this quartet (with occasional line-up fluctuations) was the core of the outfit until 1989, when Humphreys, Cooper and Holmes all left OMD to found The Listening Pool.

McCluskey then retained the OMD name and continued to record and tour as OMD with new line-ups through 1996. Though McCluskey essentially retired the OMD name in 1996, shortly thereafter Humphreys began playing live shows as OMD with other musicians on an as-needed basis, but without McCluskey. Then in late December, 2005, OMD's official website announced a forthcoming reformation of the 'classic' 1980s line-up (Humpheys/McCluskey/Cooper/Holmes), both for live performances and for a new studio album. This reformed quartet began touring in 2007, and further successful sold out tours took place in 2008 and 2009. To date OMD have sold over 11 million albums.

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

2010-04-26T10:25:00.003-04:00

Over the last seven days...

Maryland: Pastor Jerry Darnell Bartley charged with molesting a 13 year old boy.

Maine: Pastor Colin Haag and his wife arrested for kidnapping his wife's children from their biological father.

Wisconsin: The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) has filed a 55-page lawsuit against the Pope for shielding the crimes of pedophile priests.

Tennessee: Father Bill Casey arrested for molesting a 10 year old boy.

Brazil: Monsignor Luiz Marques Barbosa arrested on multiple counts of child molestation.

Wisconsin: Pastor Leonard Van Vlaenderen charged with embezzling from his church.

Indiana: Court rules that Father Francis Markey can be extradited to Ireland to face charges of child molestation.

Alaska: Pastor Shawn Anthony Justice charged with 12 counts of sexual abuse of a female minor.

Wisconsin: Pastor John West charged with conspiracy to sell heroin.

Texas: Pastor Robert John Weber charged with ten counts of sexual
assault on a 15 year old girl.

Indiana: Pastor Ernest M. Beal Jr charged with stealing the trust funds of residents of the group home for mentally challenged adults that he manages.

Illinois: Father Alejandro Flores charged with molesting an 8 year old boy. Flores is already in jail awaiting trial for molesting the boy's older brother.

Ireland: Father Eugene Lewis charged with 11 counts of sexual assault on three pre-teen sisters.

Belgium: Bishop Roger Vangheluwe has resigned after confessing to child molestation.

This Week's Winner
Utah: Pastor Kris Lounsbury has been charged with two counts of rape and aggravated sexual abuse of a ten year old girl. Lounsbury was a GOP candidate for Congress in 2006, running on a platform of abolishing the income tax, deporting illegal immigrants, abolishing the United Nations, and fighting LGBT rights laws. In January 2009 he posted a recording of a sermon calling for imprecatory prayer curses against President Obama. In the linked clip, Lounsbury rails against the repeal of DADT, saying that "you have no idea how vicious these homosexuals can be."
(Via Joe.My.God)

Annie Gives Back: "Universal Child"

2010-04-24T10:50:00.000-04:00

From American Idol's "Idol Gives Back" episode this week comes this stellar performance of a new song called "Universal Child" by the incomparable Annie Lennox. Annie has proven over the years that not only is she a unique, one in a million talent, but a giving, compassionate soul.

Annie was due to perform on the show live, but due to the volcanic activity in Iceland earlier this month she was unable to travel but was beamed in via satellite for the performance. (enjoy the track, beginning @ the 4:36 mark, after the jump)

NEW Single From Sarah McLachlan: "Loving You Is Easy"

2010-04-24T08:34:00.005-04:00

File under: IT'S ABOOT FUCKING TIME!! After years of remixes, repackaging, re-releasing, live versions, etc... of the same old, same old, Canadian songstress Sarah McLachlan is BACK with her first new material in over 7 years!

Hailing from her upcoming 7th studio album, The Laws of Illusion (set to drop June 15), "Loving You Is Easy" is a happy, piano based tune extolling the virtues of, well, love... It's full of the kind of imagery and feeling one experiences in that honeymoon period of a new relationship....butterflies, anticipation, and RTB~ is LOVING it!

Sarah has got some big shoes to fill as Fumbling Towards Ecstasy is easily one of the greatest albums to come out of the 90's (because I said so!), and her lyrical masterpiece "Fallen" from 2003's Afterglow has gotten me through some of the darkest moments in my life...so I have the highest of hopes both musically and lyrically for the new album and I'm sure she wont disappoint! (enjoy the new track after the jump)

Happy Birthday: John Waters King Of Bad Taste

2010-04-22T10:56:00.000-04:00

Rolling The Ball~ would like to extend a very special Happy Birthday to the greatest filmmaker of a generation and the filthiest man alive...John Waters!

John Samuel Waters. (born April 22, 1946) is an American filmmaker, actor, writer, journalist, visual artist and art collector, who rose to fame in the early 1970s for his transgressive cult films. Waters's 1970s and early '80s trash films feature his regular troupe of actors known as Dreamlanders—among them Divine, Mink Stole, David Lochary, Mary Vivian Pearce, and Edith Massey—often committing cinematic crimes. Starting with Desperate Living (1977), Waters began casting real-life convicted criminals (Liz Renay, Patricia Hearst) and infamous people (Traci Lords, a former porn star).

Waters's early campy movies present filthily lovable characters in outrageous situations with hyperbolic dialogue. Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble, and Desperate Living, which he labeled the Trash Trilogy, pushed hard at the boundaries of conventional propriety and movie censorship. A particularly notorious scene from Pink Flamingos, simply added as a non sequitur to film's end, featured—in one continuous take without special effects—a small dog defecating and Divine eating its feces.

Happy 64th, John...keep it filthy!

I'm Betty White, Bitch!: Betty White Lines

2010-04-21T14:11:00.001-04:00

I really wasn't going to post anything today...but after I got tipped to this by one of my fave bloggers, Joe Jervis @ Joe.My.God, I simply cound NOT resist! Not only is Betty just fab but the parody of one of my favorite rap songs ever "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash by the St. Olaf Glee Club is truly awesome! So enjoy after the jump! (dedicated to my #1 bitch, SES, because he just LOVES him some Betty AND I have him to thank for introducing me to White Lines over 20 yrs. ago...damn, you're old!)

Business Sign FAIL!: Lunch Anyone?

2010-04-20T19:36:00.000-04:00

Now, I don't know how much 60/- is in USD, or how big a 500ml cock is, but it sounds like a hell of bargain to me!

(Via Engrishfunny.com)

Your Summer Jam: Andy Bell "Will You Be There?"

2010-04-20T15:14:00.000-04:00

"Will You Be There? (French Horn Rebellion Mix)" is the brand new track from Erasure vocalist Andy Bell's upcoming 2nd solo effort titled "Non Stop" set for release March 25th. Listen after the jump...

Tipped by Joe.My.God

Will You Be There?

by Andy Bell

Today In Weird Wiki Pages: Death Erections

2010-04-20T13:36:00.000-04:00

Although, I prefer the term "Angel Lust", (it has a very nice sound to it, don't you think?) It sounds a hell of a lot nicer than what it actually is! To learn more about this strange phenomenon click here...Just be careful the next time you decide to partake of a wank with a rope tied around your throat...you don't want the cleaning lady to find you with one of these!

Just The Tip Tuesday W/ Robert Verdi : Having Good Manners

2010-04-20T10:03:00.001-04:00

Finally....I'm back on track & getting "Just The Tip Tuesday" posted ON Tuesday, bitches! Here are some fabulous good manner tips from our beloved Robert Verdi...enjoy the clip after the jump.

Music: New Releases

2010-04-20T09:43:00.001-04:00

To be quite honest, there's not a whole lot I'm excited about in the new releases this week....below are the very few I found noteworthy:

Caribou "Swim": With its absorption of club culture sounds weaved within subtle pop frameworks, Swim is Caribou's masterpiece the record he's wanted to bring to fruition for as long as he's been making music. A Canadian from small-town Ontario now based in England, Snaith has been a leading figure in electronic music over the past decade. He surprised critics and fans with 2007's Andorra, a brilliant, electro-tinged pop breakthrough with a timeless grace that made most year-end "Best of" lists and won Canada's prestigious Polaris Music Prize.

Shelby Lynne "Tears, Lies And Alibis": With Tears, Lies, and Alibis the follow-up to 2008's Just A Little Lovin' and the first release on her own label, Everso Records, Shelby Lynne affirms her position as a visionary, iconoclastic artist who deftly weaves country, soul, rock, blues, pop and folk influences to forge her own unique style. Like Identity Crisis (2003) and Suit Yourself (2005), this sparse, unguarded collection was produced by Lynne, who evokes a live-in-the-studio vibe from a stellar group of musicians.

Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin "Je T'aime moi non": Digitally remastered edition of this 1969 classic from French singer, songwriter and entertainer Serge Gainsbourg and his muse, British vocalist and actress Jane Birkin. Without a doubt, Gainsbourg is agent provocateur and Gallic soul brother #1. His sensual work is championed by all in the know and still resonates quite frankly in these sexually exaggerated times. The album Jane Birkin And Serge Gainsbourg (often referred to as Je t'aime moi non plus) now comes with a 32 page booklet with new liner notes, original artwork, and English/French lyrics.

(Listen to the sexiest song EVER recorded...)

On that note I'm going to stop, my heart's not really in this at the moment....sorry. If I hear of anything truly worthy, I will of course post it here for you.

Vicious Eye Candy: Kelis "Acapella"

2010-04-19T12:58:00.003-04:00

I meant to post this weeks ago when I first saw it but just never got around to it. "Acapella" is the latest from Kelis (of "Milkshake" fame) from her forthcoming album titled "Flesh Tone" (how fucking stupid, right?!)due out July 6th. The song is produced by David Guetta and the video, shot in LaLa Land, is directed by Brits Chris Cottam and the phenomenal fashion photog, Rankin.

I love the whole tribal vibe she's got going on through much of the video and I also think she is appropriately rocking the Givenchy spike headband as well...not many can pull off that look! And I think if you even TRY, it should be mandatory that you be sporting the head to pedicured toe gold body paint or don't even waste my time! (do you hear me SJP?!)

I wanted to dedicate this post to those who continue to support my blogging endeavors and take the time to leave comments (special shouts to LF, girl, that Givenchy link is for you!) it really means a lot...so thank you! Enjoy the vid after the jump. UPDATE: I have changed the title of this post since I have declared the word "Fierce" to be over...dead...Vicious is the new Fierce! Now, back to your regularly scheduled post....RTB~ out.

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

2010-04-18T18:49:00.000-04:00

This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days...

Kentucky: Pastor Prince Wilbert Woolfolk sentenced to 20 years for raping a teenage girl.

Virginia: Presbyterian missionary Eun Tae Lee charged with embezzling $700K from his church.

Massachusetts: Father William Ventura busted in Craigslist prostitution sting.

New York: Rabbi Baruch Lebovits sentenced to 10-32 years in prison for molesting teenage boy.

Colorado: Father Paul Montez accused of stalking teenage boy and plying him with gifts and trips.

New York: Pastor Humberto Cruz sentenced to 15 years for molesting three boys.

Texas: Pastor Curtis Otha Grant charged with 14 felony counts of molesting girls.

Colorado: Pastor James Smoker convicted of physically abusing a mentally-challenged adult in his care.

New Jersey: Accomplices of Rabbi Ben Haim plead guilty of multimillion dollar money laundering scheme involving counterfeit luxury handbags. Haim is expected to plead guilty as well.

Arizona: Father Dale Fushek pleads guilty of sexual assault on teenage boy. Fushek was accused of molesting seven boys, but in return for one guilty plea, the other charges were dropped.

New York: Father James McDevitt, charged with 20 counts of child molestation, is being sued by four of his alleged victims.

This Week's Winner-
The Pope has hired a Beverly Hills lawyer to defend the Vatican against charges that it enabled child molestations by shielding accused priests. Jeffrey Lena will appear before the Supreme Court to argue that it has no jurisdiction to try the Vatican for transferring a known molester priest from Ireland to Oregon. Lena has numerous similar cases pending in lower courts around the country.
{Via Joe.My.God}

Hysterical $lag Parody: Tik Tok On Chatroulette NSFW

2010-04-18T15:04:00.002-04:00

If you are anything like me (über fabulous with a wicked taste in music!) you will undoubtedly have as much disdain as I do for that autotuned slag Ke$ha! I mean, what a total fucking waste of space! She is not only not cute (see below) but the bitch couldn't sing her way out of a paper bag if her life depended on it. How she ever got a record deal is beyond comprehension (I'm sure she pulled a train at some industry party full of pervy old men) So of course I was very happy to have come across this fabulous and very NSFW parody some guy did while on Chatroulette he really nails it and somehow I find this much better than the original, go figure Watch after the jump....And if you need further proof of how stab your ears bad she is, check out her "performance" from last night's SNL HERE.

Get Yer Freak On!

2010-04-18T09:37:00.002-04:00

I often go through periods of nostalgia and longing for the magical decade of the 70's, a wonderful time of shag carpet, polyester, bell bottoms and of course some of the best music EVER! Well, the other night I was visiting a friend and happened to notice a magnet in his kitchen that brought back some memories....it was Boss Moss from Freakies cereal! Memba that?! I do and I also remember some of the awesome prizes you'd get inside the box and I wanted that magnet so damn bad! For a moment I contemplated swiping that thing as I coveted it so....but I'm a good boy and the angel on my shoulder prevailed.(UPDATE: Upon further reflection I'm thinking I SHOULD have swiped that magnet...this was the same person who called me chub! ~see earlier post~ I'll show you, fuck face...that magnet is so mine next time I come over!) But here's a throwback for you fellow fab kids of the 70's! A Freakies cereal commercial montage & history of the cereal after the jump....woo hoo!

Freakies was a brand of sweetened breakfast cereal produced by Ralston and sold in the United States. The cereal entered the marketplace in 1973 and was taken off the shelves in 1975. That same year Ralston sold the remaining toys that were to be inserted into the now defunct cereal to a company that supplied Dime and Grocery stores vending machines. For years you were still able to get Freakies figures for .25 and the turn of a knob. The Freakies were made up of seven creatures named Hamhose, Gargle, Cowmumble, Grumble, Goody-Goody, Snorkeldorf and the leader BossMoss.

In the mythology of the Freakies, the seven went in search of the legendary Freakies Tree which grew the Freakies cereal. They found the Tree, realized the legend was true, and promptly took up residence in the Tree which then became the backdrop for all the TV spots and package back stories.

Sex Sells: New Nail Polish For Your Inner Skank!

2010-04-17T18:08:00.002-04:00

BleachBlack's New Nail Polish Color Is Called Jizz...

Never ones to beat around the bush, Kristin and Valerie of BleachBlack have come out with the second nailpolish color to follow their offering for the holiday season, Dickweed. A pearly, milky white, Jizz pretty much looks like what it's supposed to—but unpleasant imagery aside, the hue has both a punk and a feminine slant with the all-white shade glossed up with a bit of a sheen. We'll let you know when it's up for sale, just be careful not to swallow!

I know what I'll be sporting on my digits this summer!

Maybe He's A Chubby Chaser?

2010-04-17T01:36:00.000-04:00

I just got called a chub. Now, what the fuck!? I mean I am not in the best shape of my life, but @ 5 11" & approx 190 something (I always deduct the necessary pounds I figure my clothes must weigh in order to come in under 200, as naturally one would....am I right?)

So, I'm sure this was not INTENDED as a slight....but c'mon, it's not exactly a compliment! I was always slender and I still am that fabulous 160 something I once was (in my minds eye)....I just figured someone had put up fun house mirrors everywhere and went about my day thinking I still look like I did when I was 21, sizes & labels be damned!

I even adopted the Skor candy bar slogan as my personal mantra...."You can never be too rich or too thin". It's vapid, I know, but I thought it was clever at 15 and I once was half that equation and I could still dream of being rich...Now nearing 40, I know better than to be so deluded and tonight I lost the "thin" part of what I thought I'd always have going for me. I am officially a fat bastard...a "chub"....

A "What The F**k Was I Thinking??!" Moment

2010-04-16T18:46:00.000-04:00

Ugh...so last night I was oot & aboot and had a wee bit of vodka and for some brilliant reason thought I'd swing by an ex's (unannounced drop by). Let's just say that wasn't the best idea I've ever had! I knocked on the door and they opened.... I said something fucktardish like "it's your worst nightmare" Well, joke's on me because it WAS one of mine and probably true for them....the ex had "company" already and it was apparent they weren't watching the news or trading tuna casserole recipes(wink, wink)

Jesus, did I feel like a complete fucking fool! Can you say AWKWARD!? I just don't understand why in the world when you have a fucking peep hole and can see who the hell is knocking BEFORE you answer you would choose @ this moment to answer for an ex when you're fixin' to get you some with a trick!

I'm hoping I can just pass it off as stopping by to get something I thought I had left there after our break up last July.

Kick A** Music: Cyndi Lauper "When You Were Mine"

2010-04-16T17:58:00.001-04:00

A Favorite song of mine from the Eighties....

"When You Were Mine", a cover of Prince's song that was later released as a promotional single in 1985. Lauper spent 1984 touring and promoting She's So Unusual. By the end of the year, she was the first female to have four consecutive Billboard Hot 100 Top Five hits from one album. The LP itself stayed in the Top 40 charts for more than 65 weeks and sold 16 million copies worldwide - more than 6 1/2 million in the United States alone. Watch Cyndi's American Music Awards performance of "When You Were Mine" after the jump.

Cyndi Lauper's cover version of "When You Were Mine".... Lauper did not change the pronoun gender in the song lyrics, which caused it to allude that the lost love to whom she is singing is having a new affair with another man. The single was released in Canada and Japan. Lauper performed the single at the 1985 American Music Awards. In the U.S., Lauper released it as a promo-only single and more recently in 2003 on "The Essential Cyndi Lauper"

Explosively Funny: The Best Thing You'll Read All Day

2010-04-16T17:23:00.002-04:00

I received the following story from my brother and just HAD to post this....probably the funniest thing I have read ever! Read the whole story after the jump.

Heaters

via Dilbert.com Blog on 16/04/10

[Warning: This post uses vulgar language because it involves the manly activity of assembling mechanical devices.]

"The other day I tried to assemble two outdoor heaters that Shelly and I bought online. This is exactly the sort of project I would pay someone else to do, if such a person existed. Specifically, what I need is a man with four testicles so that when we team up we have, on average, enough to get a job like this done.

Did I mention that the heaters use liquid propane? Or that they come with angry warnings guaranteeing you will die in a giant fireball? Maybe the manufacturer has to say that sort of thing for legal purposes, but I took it as a death threat. My fight-or-flight response went straight into overdrive. I picked up a screwdriver and started going all knife fight in every direction in case the heaters had accomplices...."

"...So, now imagine my complete lack of mechanical skill applied to a situation in which a mistake will catch my shirt on fire, but I won't care because by then the rest of me will be scattered among the neighbors' burning trees. That's the image running through my head as the beads of my sweat smeared the ink on the barely helpful heater assemble instructions.

At some point in a project like this, inevitably, I run out of patience with a screw that should go straight into a hole but insists on going all squirrelly. I suppose the proper method involves continuous trying until you are sure the screw is properly straight before tightening. My method involves getting pissed off on the 27^th attempt and then tightening the shit out of the screw until it is halfway in, like the Tower of Pisa, and the Phillips head is so stripped it looks like a tiny bowl. On most projects I have the option of simply living with my poor craftsmanship. With these heaters, one bad screw might be the difference between dying in a giant fireball and dying in an even gianter fireball.

The assembly directions estimated it would take 30 minutes. That's about how much time it took me to get everything out of the box, and to vacuum up the shitstorm of Styrofoam debris. I carefully arranged all of the pieces on the ping pong table and hoped something was missing so I could give up. But no luck, it was all there.

I have noticed that the people who write assembly directions often assume too much of the buyer. Those direction-makers have a lofty idea of my powers of deduction, assumption, and anticipation. But let me say to you direction-makers as clearly as I can: If you don't put it in the directions, I'm not going to fucking do it.

The gap between my literal interpretation of the directions and the proper assembly process soon became a problem. One component had an ever-so-slight bend, but seemed to fit no matter how you screwed it in. To my credit, I noticed after the sixth try that something wasn't quite right. But before I noticed, I stripped one screw in an attempt to make brute force a perfect substitute for proper assembly. That's when I noticed that the vendor shipped two extra screws for just that one part of the heater. In other words, I assume enough people had made the same mistake I did that some engineer decided to throw in a few spares. I guess that was cheaper than fixing the directions. Still, you can never be totally comfortable with leftover parts. No one wants his last words to be "I wonder why I have these two extra screws. OH GOD, NO! SHUT OFF THE VALVE! SHUT OFF THE..."

Amazingly, three hours into the project, I had assembled both heaters. Now I had to figure out how and where to buy the fuel tanks. Someone suggested Walmart, but I think you can see where this is headed. Walmart did indeed have some liquid propane fuel tanks, but I needed confirmation that they were suitable for my heaters.

Yeah, I tried to ask a technical question at Walmart.

Now, I don't want to say unkind things about the fine folks who work at Walmart. But I wouldn't object if you use your imagination to fill in the blanks. You might even want to get out of your chair and mime the expression and posture of the person to whom I asked my question. I'll bet your impression won't be far off. Anyway, since I didn't want to die because of something I learned at Walmart, I decided to try Home Depot.

You can ask a Home Depot employee just about anything and get a satisfying answer. I might ask, for example, "How many times would I need to pound this particular nail with a 3-pound hammer to get it in?" The Home Depot guy would look me in the eye and ask, "What kind of wood?" And then I might say, "There are different kinds of wood?" Then the Home Depot guy would put a tape measure around my forearm, shake his head, and say, "For you, about 435 hits." And he'd be right! So it was no surprise that he pointed me to exactly the right liquid propane tanks. As far as I know.

On the way home, I noticed that the minivan needed gas. I filled the tank and realized that along with the liquid propane bumping around in the back, I had enough explosives to take out a strip mall. All I needed was a spark. And the town was full of sparks. Sparks are pretty much everywhere. When a police car rolled by, all sparky, I tried to look as un-terrorist as possible, which is hard to do when you're sitting on a weapon of mass destruction and a turtle is trying to burrow out of your ass.

Back home, I carefully connected the tanks to the heaters, and followed the directions to use soapy water to test for gas leaks. The directions didn't say how much soapy water I was supposed to use, and I didn't want to err on the side of too little. I'm nervous that way. I just kept adding soap and checking for leaks. Shelly finally sent our dog into the giant soap mountain to find me and lead me to freedom.

The hardest part was trying to turn on the heaters. The process involves turning a knob several thousand times while absolutely nothing fucking happens. Except that maybe you are forming a giant invisible gas cloud around your general vicinity that will ignite if and when a spark is ever generated by all of your knob-turning. It's not a good place to be.

The directions even predict the product won't work. They include a workaround that involves sticking a lighter into a hole when all else fails. Finally, Shelly came out and offered to help. She had a theory about hearing some sort of hissing sound and guessing it meant something good was happening. While I could accept that hypothesis as being potentially correct, the competing hypothesis involved a giant fireball. So I split the difference and told her to explore that hypothesis while I positioned myself between the heater and the pool. I figured the explosion would propel me into the water and, with any luck, extinguish my flames.

But in the end, Shelly got the heaters started. Now I worry that the connections will come loose before we use them next time. I'll need to buy more soap."

Comments: Where the FU*K Are They!?

2010-04-15T08:38:00.001-04:00

So yes, I'm a theiving bastard without an original idea and I stole this post from another blog I read called "A White Chocolate Mess"....but he said it so well, and with a wicked sense of humor. So, here's what I'm plagiarizing (cheers, Mess!)

"Did you know that comments to a blogger are like applause to an actor, like dollar bills to a stripper? Well, act like you know! Good, bad or indifferent, we want to hear from you. And it's fun making up crazy ass names to sign your comments with."

So there you have it, bitches! I'm workin' the blogger pole so throw me some comment singles before I snap my lucite stiletto!!

Business Sign FAIL!

2010-04-14T11:17:00.000-04:00

While driving through Traverse City yesterday I spotted a sign for a car repair place (possibly Jiffy Lube Or Midas or something, can't really remember) and as we were driving I couldn't really snap a pic, but it read:

"$10 Off Tranny Service"

Hmmmm....apparently they haven't a clue, but I certainly got a good laugh at their stupidity.

Just The Tip: Planning The Chicest Funeral

2010-04-14T09:20:00.000-04:00

Apologies...I have, for the second week in a row, neglected to get "Just The Tip Tuesday" up until Wednesday...bad blogger, bad!

Well, better late than never (or perhaps I'm just fashionably late, yeah, that's it!) Here you go, the hysterical Robert Verdi's advice this week: Planning the chicest funeral....fabulous!

Watch Gay Video & Lesbian Movies

Minor Changes @ Rolling The Ball~ : After The Jump

2010-04-14T09:13:00.000-04:00

In an effort to save my readers time (yes, all tens of you!) I have decided not to clog up the main page with video's, rather I will feature them (in blogger terms) "after the jump". This means that at the bottom of the post there will be a link that says "read more" so, in order to see the video related to the post you will need to click this link. This way the main page will (in theory) load quicker for you. I hope this helps!

A McDonald's Moment: WTF??!

2010-04-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

So I'm up in Mancelona, MI visiting an old friend and today we went into Alden to run an errand and stopped at McDonald's for a quick bite. We get our food, sit down, beigin eating and having a conversation (I can't even really remember what we were talking about) when all of a sudden this 80 y/o man walks up to our table, leans in and says "I asked my grandson if he knew who Bing crosby was". We thought he was asking US if we knew who Bing was so we replied "yes". "No! I asked my grandson if he knew who Bing Crosby was and he said Grandpa I don't know any of The Beatles" Uhhhhh, ha...ha...ha?? We politely laugh, though not really getting the relelvance...I just pass it off as a crazy old person who had either forgotten his meds, or perhaps doubled up! My friend passes it off as "friendly small town people", hmmm.... I'm all for friendly, but this was just WEIRD!

We shrug it off and continue eating and talking about past jobs and whatever when the old man gets up from his table, comes back over to us, leans down again and says "Want to know how to have good sex with Vaseline?" At this point I'm really creeped out, dreading the answer & honestly expecting some really bad anti-gay punchline.... He says "do you want to know the answer!?" So we acquiesce and say "uh, sure" "you put it on the door knob to keep the kids out" was the answer....We politely, half heartedly laugh again as he shuffles off to his seat.

I quickly finished my meal to get the fuck out of there and away from the most bizarre fast food experience of my life! I was kinda creeped out by the whole thing as I am quite protective of my personal space bubble in public and felt it had been intruded upon....oh well, I suppose it was harmless and certainly gave me a story to tell.

This Week In Holy Crimes; via Joe.My.God

2010-04-12T09:47:00.000-04:00

Over the last seven days...

Vermont: Pastor David Heckman pleads guilty to stealing $110K from Habitat For Humanity.

Florida: Youth Pastor Cecil Wayne Seay charged with sending obscene text messages to 14 year old girl.

Alabama: Pastor Anthony Hopkins on trial for murdering his wife and storing her body in a freezer for four
years.

Florida: Catholic Diocese of Orlando pays undisclosed settlement to woman after Father Wladyslaw Gorak was convicted for stalking and assaulting her.

California: Pastor Melvin Lynn Silas charged with felony bigamy. Silas' rap sheet includes 25 arrests for pimping, assault, burglary and other crimes.

Arizona: Father Charles Schultz kicked off Luke Air Force base after military officials learned he'd been ousted from a previous parish for the verbal and physical abuse of boys, whom Schultz had physically forced into confessional booths. The Archdiocese of San Bernadino acknowledged the charges.

California: Pastor Carlton F. Hammonds on trial on four felony counts of sexual assault on a child.

New Jersey: Salvation Army Pastor Enoc Sotelo charged with 18 counts of felony fraud in a green card scam that preyed on recent immigrants.

Texas: Father John Fiala accused of raping a teenage boy at gunpoint. The boy's mother is suing the Archdiocese of San Antonio.

Wisconsin: Father Thomas Brundage now says he "misremembered" after church records contradicted his claims of how he handled the investigation into the sexual abuse of over 200 deaf boys.

This Week's Winner-
Germany: Father Ernst W. charged with multiple counts of molesting boys. The Diocese of Erfurt admits that although they knew of the accusations, they continued to allow the priest to work at a male juvenile detention facility but never told authorities about the allegations. The diocese says it accepts responsibility for the "incorrect decision."

3am Eternal: My Crazy Dream...

2010-04-08T03:26:00.004-04:00

It's 3:23 am and thanks to my fucking bladder I'm awake....but I also remeber bits of a very bizarre dream involving Annie Lennox, a communal shower, Nazi uniforms, a P!nk t-shirt, 3D glasses, a tour of Burger King and a song and dance routine. Hmmmmm, weird! Thanks Ambien! Ok, back to bed for me...if I'm lucky I have time for another before my beasties arrive for day 3.

Sweet dreams are made of this.........

Amazing Animation: Oscar winning "Logorama"

2010-04-07T23:17:00.001-04:00

This is a great animated short that won the Oscar this year from Marc Altshuler. It features just about every corporate logo you can imagine and features a rather psychotic Ronald McDonald. Funny shit & definitely NSFW. Enjoy the clip after the jump. (that means click "Read more")

Logorama from Marc Altshuler - Human Music on Vimeo.

Brand New Video: Penguin Prison "Something I'm Not"

2010-04-07T21:58:00.003-04:00

Super excited about bringing you this first, new & just released today video from last weeks "one's to watch", Penguin Prison! As you may (or may not if you're not paying attention to the oft changed mp3's on the left of the blog) remember, I featured a couple great songs by this guy (Chris Glover) whose remixer/solo artist moniker is the enigmatic "Penguin Prison".

He's had many other forays into the music biz but none have generated the buzz he's getting for both his current remixes (for the likes of Marina and the Diamonds & Ellie Goulding) and his solo efforts, which up to now include only a handful of singles. So here's the brand new vid for his latest single called "Something I'm Not", Created by Roman Rappak. The video was taken from footage of skype conversations between Roman and Chris Glover (aka Penguin Prison). Enjoy!

Just The Tip Tuesday W/ Robert Verdi : Aging Gracefully

2010-04-07T20:00:00.003-04:00

Apologies for not getting this up ON Tuesday...oops! Well, here it is, another "Just The Tip" with the über fab Robert Verdi. This week is all about aging gracefully, so take notes! (watch after the jump)

New Music Update: LCD Soundsystem

2010-04-05T15:23:00.001-04:00

As promised, I'm keeping you up to date on the new LCD Soundsystem album "This Is Happening" I've found 2 things: first is a decidedly disco tinged remake of the Alan Vega's "Bye Bye Bayou" Which you can listen to on the left. Apparently I haven't been doing enough searching as this has been available since last November (damn!) second is another track off the new album called "Drunk Girls" (listen HERE) I'm not too crazy about the latter but will withhold judgment until I hear it in context of the entire album....oh who am I kidding, I fucking hate it! UGH! The rest of the album better be way better than this track. Anyways, if anyone besides me cares at all, there's the latest on LCD Soundsystem....after the jump is the trailer for their video for "Drunk Girls" enjoy....

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

2010-04-05T09:09:00.000-04:00

This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days...

Alabama: Pastor Bertha Wright arrested on 16 felony counts of Oxycontin prescription fraud.

Texas: Pastor Lester Cody pleads no contest to sexually assaulting a minor.

Texas: Youth Pastor Matthew Overstreet charged with sexually assaulting a minor.

Missouri: Father Patrick Grady pleads guilty to possession of child porn and trying to buy sex from a female minor.

Illinois: Deacon George Valdez charged with embezzling $315K from his parish.

Wisconsin: Pastor Leonard Van Vlaenderen charged with stealing $128K from his church.

France: Father Jacques Gaimard confesses to child molestation.

Ontario: Father John Duarte sentenced for molesting boys at Catholic mission he founded in Haiti.

France: Father Bonaventure Ouedraogo arrested for showing up drunk at the funeral he was to officiate and punching out one of the mourners.

North America: Bishop Accountability group claims that numerous accused priests are being quietly reinstated despite pending charges of child predation.

This Week's Winner-
Vatican City: Cardinal Angelo Sodano opened the Pope's Easter Sunday Mass today with a speech dismissing charges of the Ratzinger's complicity in the global child abuse scandal as nothing more than "petty gossip of the moment." Ill Papa made no mention of the controversy during his address.

(Via Joe.My.God blog)

Controversial Book Review: Miguel Santana's "The Marién Revelation"

2010-03-31T12:03:00.001-04:00

Mexican author Miguel Santana's third novel "The Marién Revelation" is sure to be among the most talked about in the coming months. Examiner.com has already ranked it among the 100 most anticipated novels of 2010. I doubt since Salman Rushdie's "Satanic Verses" or Nikos Kazantzakis' "The Last Temptation of Christ" (or the 1988 Scorcese film of the same name) has a book courted such controversy. Below is a a video trailer & review for the book...sounds interesting! To learn more about the book or author Miguel Santana, click here.

Theodore Jennings

Chicago Theological Seminary and Author of The Man Jesus Loved

“The Marién Revelation carried me along in a rush so that I finished it in one day … While focusing on the interwoven stories of Mary the mother of Jesus and Marién, a very modern Mexican American woman, Santana depicts Jesus as the lover of the male “Beloved”, whose portrait is indebted the Gospel of Mark. The novel is an intricately woven tapestry of ancient wisdom (heavily drawn from the Bible as well as Egyptian and Greek sources), of throbbing sexuality, and of spiritual desolation and exhilaration. The book is bursting with energy and inventiveness.
I very much enjoyed reading the book. There are a number of very memorable moments in the text and I very much liked the daring splicing of temporal zones. The rhythm of narration was almost like flamenco. It is also quite an accomplishment to make women characters come so vividly to life.
I was engrossed in the book, and extend my appreciation for a remarkable work of art.”

Music: New Releases & Updates

2010-03-30T13:52:00.001-04:00

This just in & I'm really excited because it MUST mean we are closer to actually getting our hands on it! The NEW LCD Soundsystem album finally has a name and cover art:

It's great news but as yet there's nothing more on an official release date for "This Is Happening", rest assured I'll keep you posted as this is one I'm really looking forward to!

Black Francis (aka: Frank Black of the seminal 90's alternative rock band the Pixies)drops a new album today titled "Nonstoperotik". Recorded last year in NYC, L.A. & London (apparently the London studio was haunted) features 10 new, supposedly sexually charged songs, plus a cover of the Flying Burrito Brothers’ “Wheels” thrown in to boot. (Listen to "Six Legged Man" HERE)

Sup Pop Records Dum Dum Girls, formed in late 2008 drop a great album called "I Will Be" with a sound like 60's pop meets post punk girl group...and with songs like "Jail la la" and "Bhang Bhang I'm a Burnout", I had to take notice

I know this is way jumping the gun, but I don't care....one of my favorite bands of the last decade, Keane, are releasing a new 8 track EP titled "Night Train" Although it's not slated for release until May 11th, I had to mention it as I'm really looking forward to this as much as the LCD Soundsystem! Get your first listen to the track "Clear Skies" HERE.

UPDATE: Keane JUST released the first video from Night Train called "Stop For A Minute" feat. K'naan here it is:

Lastly, MGMT come back with a follow up to their awesome 2008 debut "Oracular Spectacular" titled "Congratulations". Their sophomore disc promises to be a new direction, but a good one, for the band...Soulful and complex, "Congratulations" is a surprising and delightful quantum step forward in MGMT's ongoing pop revolution. Officially dropped on April 13, the band has acknowledged it's pre-release leak onto the internet.

Just The Tip Tuesday W/ Robert Verdi : Dressing Your Man

2010-03-30T10:33:00.000-04:00

Once again the ever fabulous Robert Verdi giving his invaluable advice! This week's tips are for the ladies out there on how to dress your man...so pay close attention...and although Robert doesn't mention it, throw away his pleated pants NOW!

Your OMG!! WTF!?? Of The Week: Big Mouth Strikes Again

2010-03-30T10:13:00.002-04:00

Today I bring you this WTF clip from "Pilipinas Got Talent", the same basic premise as "America's Got Talent". Well, this is just about the most fucked up thing I have ever seen! The show begins and out comes B.M. (apparently short for Big Mouth~and you'll see why @ the 1:40 mark!~ but I guess no one gave girlfriend the memo that it's short for shit...oh well) who is a drag performer of sorts I guess or really likes wearing Liberace cast offs, it's really anyone's guess.

Well, then B.M. starts in on her (?) rendition of "Banal Na Aso" and then bitch gets possessed by the demon spirit of Mr. Ed...you have to hear this shit to believe it! Ok, this is freaking my shit out! I can't stop watching but I'm scared as hell and think I've lost a piece of my soul to the horse demon...somebody HELP!

Retro Remix of the Week: Chris & Cosey

2010-03-29T11:31:00.003-04:00

The Retro Remix this week (listen on the left) is an old favorite of mine from electronic pioneers Chris & Cosey (formerly of Throbbing Gristle). "October (Love Song)" near as I can find, was originally released somewhere between 1982-1983 although I know it from their 1986 EP "Take 5" and while there are a total of 4 versions, this is the one I'm most familiar with (the 12" or Long Vocal Mix) the others are "Short Vocal Mix", "Instrumental" and "Dance Mix"

This was probably one of the first tracks of theirs I heard and instantly fell in love with it...it probably ended up on every mix tape I ever made for someone I had a crush on from the late 80's through the mid 90's. It's a very beautiful song and certainly the closest thing to pop the band ever did. I still love it...hope you enjoy it too! Here's the first track I ever heard from C & C thanks to my friend Sarah : "Manic Melody (Hairy Beary)" Can you say acid trip?!

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

2010-03-29T09:39:00.001-04:00

Over the last seven days...

Texas: Pastor Dean Richard Tarkington found guilty of possession of child porn.

Kentucky: Pastor Alonzo Bradley arrested for torturing his wife by "beating and burning her with implements."

West Virginia: Pastor Johnny Ray Dempsey pleads guilty to incest and sexual abuse by a parent.

Florida: Rev. John C. Spinks charged with possession and distribution of child porn.

Maryland: Father Thomas Bevan to face September trial for multiple counts of child molestation.
Connecticut: Youth Pastor David Esarey convicted of sexual assault on a minor and possession of child porn.

Ireland: Father Francis Markey charged with rape of 15 year-old boy forty years ago. Markey had been suspended at least three times for sexual misconduct but was always allowed to go back to "work."

Vienna: An unnamed priest has resigned after confessing to sex with a boy. Two other priests in the same diocese have been suspended.

Arizona: Rabbi Bryan Bramley charged with rape of 7 year-old girl.

California: Pastor Matthew Davis charged with multiple felony counts of lewd and lascivious behavor and indecent exposure to children.

New Zealand: Pastor Donald Tarnaki charged with sexual assault of 13 year-old girl.

Florida: Music worship teacher David Lanham charged with 16 felony counts of sexual abuse of four children ages 5-11.

Ontario: Pastor James Sinclair charged with three counts of sexual assault.

This Week's Winner-
New York: At his Palm Sunday Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral, today Archbishop Timothy Dolan defended the Pope against charges of complicity in the ever-widening child molestation scandal, comparing the Pope to Christ and saying that Ill Papa is "being daily crowned with thorns by groundless innuendo." Dolan claims that the Catholic Church is being "unfairly singled-out" for their kiddie-fuckers because child molestation happens in other religions too. Dolan, of course, made no mention of the inconvenient fact that other religions don't have an ongoing (and until recently, very successful) global system of shielding their child molesters from prosecution.

(Via Joe.My.God)

This Week In Fashion: Xanadon't!

2010-03-26T15:25:00.001-04:00

The outfit is a little skimpy, but shim's legs ARE fierce! The accessories are working ok ~I'm always partial to oversized sunglasses & the chunky bangles are a nice juxtaposition~ but the turban is SO 1950's and the white clutch...really? And honestly, I'm hating the shoe color too, but I must say what really kills the look is the Amish beard...therefore I declare this a fashion Xanadon't! (it's my new word, dig it?)

(pic via Poorly Dressed)

Music Matters: Kate Bush

2010-03-26T12:30:00.001-04:00

Here is a little animated bio of the incomparable Kate Bush (side note: this blog LOVES Kate and is named after a lyric in her song "Them Heavy People")

Found via Music Matters website.... Music Matters is a collective of people across the music industry, including artists, retailers, songwriters, labels and managers, formed to remind listeners of the significance and value of music.

Music Matters - Kate Bush (23-3-10) from Music Matters on Vimeo.

Today In Humor: That's Gay

2010-03-25T20:22:00.005-04:00

"That's Gay" is a very funny segment Bryan Safi does on Current TV's weekly 1/2 hour show Infomania.

There are several but this one is called "That's Gay: No Homo" and is about the current use of this phrase in rap music and now being adopted into the pop lexicon...it's ridiculous & offensive, but as always, Bryan puts a hysterical spin on the situation!

Remix Of The Week: "The Phoenix Alive" by Monarchy

2010-03-25T16:06:00.001-04:00

Apparently somewhat of a mystery as their identities are as yet unknown (insofar as I can tell...I can't even locate the groups website!) But the London duo's infectious new tune "The Phoenix Lives" gets the spot for remix of the week (listen on the left)

I am sure we'll be hearing lot's more in the near future! It reminds me of many other bands I'm really into as of late such as LCD Sound System, Miike Snow, MGMT, etc... Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, this post was a bit rushed...I'll try to find out more on Monarchy or feel free to pass on anything you might know!)

This Week In Fashion: Engrish Is The New Black!

2010-03-24T19:13:00.001-04:00

Dolce&Gabbana? Tom Ford for Gucci? Prada? Hells no! This spring it's all about the Engrish! Check out this fierce hoodie from Korea:

(Pic via Engrishfunny.com)

Just The Tip: Staying Fit & Skinny As Sh*t

2010-03-23T22:39:00.000-04:00

Fashion Stylist/Interior Designer & T.V. personality Robert Verdi has a hysterical new show on LOGO called (what else?) "The Robert Verdi Show Starring Robert Verdi"

Here's one of his webisode spin offs called "Just The Tip from Robert Verdi". He definitely has a wicked sense of humor...something we share ;) Hope you enjoy!

Watch Gay Video & Lesbian Movies

A Good RTB~ Day: Facebook Fans

2010-03-23T18:53:00.003-04:00

Well, this morning I decided to create a Facebook Fan Pg. for Rolling The Ball~ and sent out requests to most all on my "Friends" list (if you're reading this now that probably means you were one of them ;)

Much to my surprise and delight I have, in one day on Facebook, gotten nearly double the "Fans" than actual blog "followers" since last September. This has given me renewed hope that perhaps I can continue writing and sharing with people and that, in fact, it may actually be read!

So, here's hoping (fingers crossed!) that it's not a fluke, that people go beyond clicking a button on a social networking site simply because it's so easy, and actually value my point of view, my humor and the time spent to share it with whoever so chooses to take the time to visit and read the blog.

I know a lot of what I post tends to be heavy on the music side...either video's, new release info, news, etc... but music is my greatest passion in life aside from my children and nothing brings me greater joy than sharing a new discovery I've made or exposing people to what I think is great music.

I would love to get more feedback, comments, etc... so i can better gauge what works, what doesn't, what people find interesting, informative, humorous or of value, so PLEASE, if you like something (or don't), if you agree with a point of view or wish to share your own, take a few moments and leave a comment, send an email or post on the Rolling The Ball~ discussion board of the Facebook Fan Page!

Also, please use the newly added share feature to share posts you like to your Facebook, Twitter, Google, etc & pass along the blog & or Facebook Page to your friends!

Thanks to those of you who joined as fans & made my day!

Quote of the Day

2010-03-21T17:57:00.000-04:00

This was once posted as my Facebook status and I'm fully expecting it to be as ignored here...which just further proves the quote itself. People just don't understand & sadly just don't care to. This will be my last post of the day if not of the blog as a whole. Thanks to the 2 or 3 people who actually ever read it....

“One who shows signs of mental aberration is, inevitably, perhaps, but cruelly, shut off from familiar, thoughtful intercourse, partly excommunicated; his isolation is unwittingly proclaimed to him on every countenance by curiosity, indifference, aversion, or pity, and in so far as he is human enough to need free and equal communication and feel the lack of it, he suffers pain and loss of a kind and degree which others can only faintly imagine, and for the most part ignore.” Charles Horton Cooley

--

Hot Look of the Day: Elza Soares

2010-03-21T15:11:00.004-04:00

It's as if baby Jesus answered our prayers and sent this gorgeous Brazilian angel down from heaven to bestow us with her magnificence! Not since Jocelyn Wildenstein and Donatella Versace has such fierce beauty been bestowed upon us....and so crispy fried too! I'm just loving the 'fell asleep in my tanning bed slathered in crisco for a decade after my 7th facelift' look...memaw is rockin' it! And who knew the pubic hair afro would come back in style so soon? Stunning!

[Photo via Dlisted]

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

2010-03-21T13:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, I need to preface this by saying that while this IS the latest "This Week in Holy Crimes" posting from JMG blogger Joe Jervis, it is in fact from March 8th....so while it's not the MOST up to date I'd be remiss if I failed to post. Rest assured as soon as there's a new one I will post it here.

Over the last seven days...

Pennsylvania: Pastor Thomas Croyle charged with embezzling $83K from church charity.

Florida: Youth Pastor Eric Spandorf busted for selling child pornography.

Alabama: Pastor William Curtin busted in prostitution sting.

Nebraska: Youth Pastor Mark Hild arrested for sexual assault on 11 year-old girl.

Colorado: Pastor Loren Ankarlo arrested in $750K securities fraud scheme.

New York: Rabbi Baruch Lebovits begins trial on multiple charges of child molestation.

Florida: Youth Pastor Joel Price confesses to possession of massive child porn collection.

Spain: Father Samuel Martin busted for prostituting himself to "women and couples."

Texas: Pastor Hezekiah Stallworth accused by two more victims after arrest for molesting 7 year-old girl.

California: Pastor Anthony Garduno pleads guilty to four felony counts of meth dealing.

This Week's Winner-
Germany: Echoes of Ireland. A widening child molestation scandal at several Catholic schools now includes a boys choir once headed by Pope Ratzinger's brother, Georg. More than 170 alumni from the schools have charged that they were molested by priests and school employees. The Vatican says they are sending an investigator to "look into" the situation.

Italo Disco Earthquake: Hard Ton

2010-03-21T12:52:00.001-04:00

I recently discovered this "little" Italo Disco gem via World of Wonder blog the other day but had posted too much already and decided to drop the disco bomb at the beginning of a new week. So here ya go! Behold, self proclaimed "The Biggest Disco Queen of the XXI Century"! The song is FAB but the visual reminds me of our dearly departed Aunt Ida (Edith Massey) from THE best John Waters film "Female Trouble"

So, close your eyes and shake your groove thing to the fierce beats of "Earthquake" by Hard Ton!

Explained: The Catholic Church NSFW

2010-03-21T10:51:00.001-04:00

Well, it finally all gets explained by Father Ike McCreedy of the Catholic Archdiocese of New York....it's all making sense now! (Apologies that the vid is slightly cropped, it is the smallest version available for this particular vid)

Christian Boycott: Feminine Products

2010-03-20T12:02:00.002-04:00

Via the ever fabulous Mrs. Betty Bowers ~America's Best Christian~ Comes this hysterical pic....I laughed so hard!! I just love Betty!

Awesome Animal FAILS!

2010-03-20T09:14:00.003-04:00

A great way to start my Saturday morning...I laughed and laughed at some of these brilliant animal FAILS!

Saturday Night: Fever

2010-03-20T08:31:00.002-04:00

Here's a great clip of Rita Moreno & Animal from the Muppet Show performing "Fever". Enjoy!

Gobsmacking: Teabaggers

2010-03-19T17:00:00.003-04:00

This is just insane! These people have no fucking clue what they're even protesting! I am speechless. (sorry the vid is cropped on the right slightly, it's the smallest this will go)

Spring is here!

2010-03-19T16:06:00.002-04:00

I went for a brief walk today to get some fresh air, brought my new camera and snapped these pix of spring's first flowers to emerge...enjoy!

Psychic Drawing FAIL

2010-03-19T13:30:00.002-04:00

via Failblog.org

You Should Be Watching: The Robert Verdi Show!

2010-03-19T11:53:00.000-04:00

Fabulous Fashion Stylist/Interior Designer/T.V. Personality Robert Verdi is starring in his very own show on the LOGO Network. It's a weekly 1/2 hour of Robert running amok with his crazy ideas and tasking his group of personal ~~bitches~~ assistants to make it happen....What ensues is kitsch hilarity with Robert never being satisfied and his visions never really coming to fruition. It's a great way to spend a half hour and is sure to make you laugh! Here's the most recent episode (catch the first 4 at logotv.com) "Robert Wants A Shopping Mall"

Watch Gay Video & Lesbian Movies

Hero's of the day: Lt. Dan Choi & Capt. Jim Pietrangelo

2010-03-19T09:44:00.001-04:00

Yesterday afternoon after the HRC rally to repeal the antiquated DADT policy, a group of protesters including out Army Lt. Dan Choi went to the White House to protest. Lt. Choi and outed Army Capt. Jim Pietrangelo proceeded to handcuff themselves to the gate outside the White House lawns in a brave show of quiet disobedient protest to the policy that has killed their military careers after years of loyal service of protecting the very nation that refuses them equal rights under the law.

Lt. Choi & Capt. Pietrangelo were arrested without incident but were held overnight, denied bail and apparently even a phone call. Lt. Choi is being charged with "failure to obey a lawful order" which apparently does not jive with being held like he is as usually you are allowed to post bail and get out pretty quickly. It is unclear what the charges against Capt. Pietrangelo are but it would be safe to assume they are the same. Below is a clip of Lt. Choi's statement to the crowd.

Top Model FAIL!

2010-03-18T20:13:00.000-04:00

I just love a gut busting laugh at someone else's misfortune ~I know, I know, I'm going to hell!~ and people falling seem to get me really going. Well, last night's episode from Cycle 14 of ANTM did NOT disappoint! This has to go down as one of the funniest scenes from this show, EVER! Sadly, after the laughter of this colossal runway fuck up, my favorite contestant and pick to win was eliminated from the show...damn you Tyra!

WTF!?: Nirvana gets Rick Rolled

2010-03-18T17:33:00.000-04:00

While mining the interweb for the latest in all things music I came across this fucking tragedy of a Mashup...."Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit UP" and I cry "FAIL"! What meth-head scumbag would even dream of defiling Nirvana in such a way? Now, I'm all for a good mashup, in fact I usually feature one (like this weeks "Dance is The Drug" by David Bowie/Roxy Music) and I'm all for using two artists or songs you might never have thought should or could work together...but the secret is IT'S GOTTA WORK, and this for me doesn't come close! Not to mention it's been used to death in the mashup scene and maybe some songs/artists should just be left alone unless you're really going to blow us away. Anyway, here it is for your listening displeasure!

Wet pussy...

2010-03-18T12:52:00.000-04:00

Here's a vid of a swimming cat from Rosebud, Victoria, Australia.....poor pussy! What they DON'T show is how the fuck the cat got IN the pool to begin with and she seems to want out kinda bad yet receives no help from her douchebag owners who are too busy trying to claim their 15 min. of fame by video taping the poor feline.

More music news: new/upcoming releases

2010-03-18T12:24:00.001-04:00

I am currently listening to & very much enjoying a (pre-release) copy of the much anticipated Goldfrapp album "Head First", whose lead single "Rocket" has had me grooving on it's 80's Xanadu vibe for weeks!(listen to the Penguin Prison Remix of "Rocket" on the left of this page under the search function) The album officially gets dropped next Tuesday, March 23rd

File under "It's about fucking time!" Sarah McLachlan has finally announced her first new release of all new material in over 7 years! " The Laws Of Illusion" will be released on June 15th

Also looking forward to the new LCD Soundsystem (as yet to be titled) album which according to the bands website will be released this May, although no official date has been set.

Natalie Merchant also breaks her nearly decade long silence with her 2-disc Nonesuch Records debut titled "Leave Your Sleep" on April 13th

Says the former 10,000 Maniacs singer"This album captures so many magical moments, the best times I've ever had as a musician" She's adapted 19th and 20th century British and American poetry - well-known and obscure works, anonymous rhymes, children's lullabies, all of it timeless....here's hoping!

Lastly something I found of interest in the covers dept. The Bird & The Bee is releasing an album of Hall & Oates covers titled " Interpreting the Masters, Vol. 1: A Tribute to Daryl Hall & John Oates" (Phew! that's a mouthful, eh?) This drops next Tuesday as well and promises to be a fun reminder of how great a song writing duo H&O were.....certainly not as good as the originals, but a pop tribute perfect for summer.

Highly Anticipated: Brendan Perry "Ark"

2010-03-18T10:15:00.004-04:00

Perhaps none will be as excited as I am or awaiting this album as with as much anticipation, but I HAD to share this nonetheless.

Former Dead Can Dance member Brendan Perry ~perhaps my favorite male vocalist of all time~ is finally set to release his first solo album in over a decade! His first solo effort "Eye of the Hunter" from 1999 remains one of my favorite albums. I have been awaiting the release of "Ark" for well over a year since first learning of it's impending release via Brendan's myspace page. It's release was already delayed at least once due to Brendan's perfectionism but has been promised for an "early 2010" release date which I believe must be true as he has already begun touring in Europe. Here is a brief documentary about the new album and the exciting new direction Brendan is taking...I cannot wait!!

Listen to "Winter Sun" from Ark.
>

R.I.P. Alex Chilton

2010-03-18T06:45:00.001-04:00

In celebrity death news: Rock guitarist and singer Alex Chilton, known for his work with bands the Box Tops and Big Star, died Wednesday. He was only 59.

Via CNN: Chilton was having heart problems and died in an emergency room in New Orleans, Louisiana, said longtime friend and business associate John Fry.

Chilton started in music as a teen in the 1960s, as vocalist for the psychedelic soul group the Box Tops, Fry said. They were known for the No. 1 hit "'The Letter" and songs such as "Neon Rainbow" and "Cry Like a Baby."

After that group disbanded in 1970, Chilton formed the Memphis rock group Big Star. Though that band had a short life, breaking up in 1974, its music catapulted the group and Chilton to cult status.

"While Big Star struggled with success commercially, their early '70s, power-pop sound is often cited as directly influencing bands like Cheap Trick, R.E.M. and the Replacements," Billboard magazine said in its biography of Chilton's group. The evidence of that: a song the Replacements released in 1987, called "Alex Chilton."
Part of the chorus of that song is "Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton when he comes 'round. They sing, I'm in love."

In the 1990s, Big Star got back together.

Chilton and the band were scheduled to perform at the South by Southwest music festival in Texas this weekend.

And...the return of Boy George...?

2010-03-18T06:04:00.001-04:00

Well, apparently this slipped out there into cyberspace in late Jan. without catching my attention til now. Official release however is slated for March 22nd.

A BRAND NEW track from none other than the once and future queen & former Culture Club ~~frontranny~~ frontman Boy George! Fresh (ok, it's been nearly a year) from the assault and false imprisonment of a male escort which landed the Boy in the clink for 4 months, George is finally back with a new single. Titled "Amazing Grace" this is one of the few solo works to get released in the 2000's aside from some very limited edition singles under various pseudonyms such as "The Twin"

I'm loving the visuals, if not the song, and think George looks great as a floating head ala Jambi!

One does wonder though if part of his deal w/ the male escort he roughed up was to include the guy in his next video....hmmmmm???

The return of RTB....

2010-03-17T22:33:00.003-04:00

I just really need to vent about some shit and I don't think Facebook is the place...not that it matters much as either way it's sure to be ignored, so I'm looking at this as more of a journal entry than anything else.

Firstly, why the fuck do people send "friend" requests on Facebook when they have no intention of EVER communicating with you!?? I have accepted several requests in good faith thinking these people have a genuine interest in catching up and or keeping up to date on the goings on (or lack there of) in my life...and not once have they sent a message, commented on any post or responded to comments I've made on theirs....I just don't get it. I'm not into simply boosting my "friends" numbers for the hell of it....perhaps I'm looking at this whole social networking thing in the wrong way and need to play along, adding everyone I've ever gone to school with from kindergarten through high school & everyone I ever worked with or dated and all their friends too!

I guess I just have a very out of date, old school definition of "friend" that needs to be reevaluated.....and that to me is a sad, sad thing.

I am indeed a rock...

An historic weekend: National Equality March

2009-10-11T09:35:00.000-04:00

I have been quite busy with school this past week and haven't had time or much inclination to scour the web for things worth posting, but this one is a must. Last night President Obama addressed the HRC, an historic event in itself as he is only the second sitting president to do so (Bill Clinton being the first in 1993). He opens the speech quite humorously, but soon gets down to business. I truly hope this is not more rhetoric and that he puts his words into action.

In the words of Cleve Jones...."We seek nothing less than equal protection under the law in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states"

You can watch coverage of the historic march on CSPAN today from 2pm-5pm EST. Below is the presidents speech at the HRC dinner last night.

Retro Tune of the Day: Kate Bush "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)"

2009-10-05T13:50:00.003-04:00

Possibly Kate's most widely known single, "Running Up That Hill..." was the first single released from her Hounds of Love album in 1985. It has been covered several times by the likes of Placebo and the gender-bending postmodern cabaret duo Kiki & Herb.

This was Kate's highest charting in the U.S., reaching #30 on the Billboard Hot 100 and #13 on Billboard's Hot Dance Club Play chart in 1985 (this was Kate's very first 12" remix) Here is a new mix I recently discovered, breathing a little new life into an old favorite....hope you enjoy!

This Week In Holy Crimes... [Via Joe.My.God]

2009-10-05T13:19:00.000-04:00

Over the last seven days...

California: Pastor Jose Campoverde charged with molesting four girls living in church housing for needy families.

England: Father David Pearce confesses to sexually assaulting five underage boys.

Ohio: Pastor Joshua O'Bannion accused of molestation by two girls who came forward after O'Bannion was arrested in Arizona on the same charge.

Alabama: Pastor Curtis Willis shot and killed by police after he axed off the hand of a deputy who'd arrived to serve an order of protection for Curtis' wife. The deputy's hand was successfully reattached.

New York: Iman Ahmad Wais Afzali charged with lying to FBI during terrorism inquiry.

England: Church of England under fire for not revealing that Vicar Dominick Stone had been arrested for possession of "indecent photographs."

Louisiana: Rev. James Ford accused of "inappropriately touching" three girls whose parents were arrested for allowing Ford to molest them.

Maryland: Father Michael Barnes arrested for molesting a boy from '77-'82.

Virginia: Father Rodney L. Rodis appealing his conviction for embezzling more than $600K-$1M from his churches.

This Week's Winner-
Italy: Vatican official Father Cesare Burgazzi was arrested after leading police on a 20-minute high-speed chase after being found "driving slowly" through a red light district known for transsexual prostitutes. Two wrecked police cars and three injured officers later, Burgazzi was taken into custody screaming, "You have no idea who I am. You don't know who you are messing with!" This, after attempting to run the officers down with his car. Burgazzi works at the Vatican State Department and is Master of Ceremonies at St. Peter's Basilica. He claims he thought the police were robbers and denies that they found the front seats of his car in the reclined position. His lawyer said, "My client is not a user of prostitutes or transsexuals - he did not have condoms in his car."

[Via Joe.My.God]

Classic Rock Song of the Day: "Hey Jude"

2009-10-04T12:59:00.002-04:00

I obviously have a very strong connection and love for this song and sang it every night to help my son fall asleep. IMO one of the Beatles' best, it reached the #1 spot on the U.S. Billboard charts this week in 1968 where it would remain for 9 weeks becoming their longest charting #1 single in the U.S. & selling over 8 million copies world wide.

It was written by Paul McCartney for John's son Julian and originally titled "Hey Jules" the B-side was another Beatles great, "Revolution"

Funny or Die: Wrong Hole NSFW

2009-10-03T18:52:00.002-04:00

OMFG!!! I am still laughing so hard I can't write anything....just watch. BAHAAAAAHAHAHAA!!!

WRONG HOLE with DJ Lubel, Taryn Southern and Scott Baio from Scott Baio

[Via Funny or Die]

Cool Link: Box Spin

2009-10-03T17:39:00.001-04:00

Another fun game link to waste some time. Enjoy! Box Spin

Saturday Cartoons: Penguins of Madagasgar "Assault & Batteries"

2009-10-03T14:19:00.000-04:00

I was turned onto this show by my beasties and must admit I LOVE it! All the characters are great but my favorite is, of course, King Julian. He's always good for some awesome one liners & never fails to crack my shit right up! Here's a favorite episode of mine called "Assault & Batteries" I decided to post this for my brother & nephew who live "Down Under" and thought they might get a kick out of the Joey character & the hilarity that ensues when Skipper & King Julian get stuck in Joey's enclosure....enjoy!

Lamebook: Past the Dictionary!

2009-10-02T11:47:00.002-04:00

If you can't see it, here's the link

It's Solid Gold, Betch...Relax!

2009-10-02T11:25:00.002-04:00

Remember that web cam you got your grandma last Christmas? Well, bitch has been busy bustin' some moves to her favorite naughty 80's tunes and posting that dance fuckery all over the interweb! Wearing her finest Claire's Boutique jewels and the latest fashions from Jessica Simpson's Forever 21 line, meemaw is looking like she inherited the dance moves of Brit Brit if she were having an epileptic fit...gotta love it!

My prediction: she will be the new video vixen of 2010, Tawny Kitaen aint got nothin' on this hot flash diva! I only hope she's doubled up on the Os-Cal otherwise you may be named in the law suit resulting from her broken hip and the viral interweb humiliation that will ensue when she goes down during her Samantha Fox "Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)" finale!

Cool Link: Magic Dots

2009-10-02T11:03:00.000-04:00

Not really much to it and perhaps you're bored already but if you dropped a tab in your Wheaties this morning this will be fun! Magic Dots! (roll your mouse over the dots)

(This is just a screen cap, click the link above for the real thing!)

Best of Craigs List: Satanic Sexual Ritual

2009-10-01T11:12:00.001-04:00

Talk about a hot date! How could you resist after reading the description of this "perfect encounter" *NSFW*

Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.

Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.

The perfect encounter will be this:

Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings) Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.

If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!

Hails to the Evil One!!

Today's Cartoon: Collecting Doubletakes

2009-10-01T10:52:00.000-04:00

[ViaXKCD]

Bank robbery FAIL

2009-10-01T10:38:00.002-04:00

Apparently some 30 y/o 3rd grade drop out bitch named ~~Amy Winehouse~~ Stephanie Martin went straight from shooting some battery acid in her meth lab down to her local bank and tried to rob it in Hillsboro, Oregon yesterday. Only problem was the mastermind behind the crime failed her penmanship class and the poor teller couldn't read her note (which apparently stated "Need $300 or I'll kill you. I'm serious.") The teller told the woman she couldn't read her chicken scratchings so the woman left the window to try again and re-wrote the hold up note on a bank slip giving the teller the opportunity to hit the silent alarm.

Now, besides the obvious issue I have with robbing a bank, I think the more serious crimes commited here were those of poor penmanship and the fact that if you are going to commit a class A felony, why the fuck stop at $300!?? That would barely cover her electric bill from cookin' down the good shit!

I guess she changed her mind and when the bank manager came over the would be Bonnie Parker decided she really only wanted to open an account. Of course when the police and FBI showed up her ass got cuffed and taken to jail and was determined to be *shocker!* under the influence of drugs.

I think the moral of this story is two fold: First, we obviously need to bring back penmanship classes in our schools to give our kids (the future bank robbers) a fighting chance at succeeding in their goals. Second, we obviously need to work on the pervasive issue of self esteem...I mean come on, if she had felt better about herself and had the knowledge she could accomplish anything she set her mind to, the bitch obviously would have asked for way more cash than her weekly KFC tab!

Retro Tune of the Day: Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush "Don't Give Up" A special dedication for Amanda & her mother

2009-09-30T12:25:00.000-04:00

Coming from Peter Gabriel's 1986 album "SO", this is one of my favorite songs of all time. It is a beautiful duet with the amazing Kate Bush.

I'd like to dedicate this song to My friend Amanda who just learned her mother has breast cancer. Don't give up! My thoughts are with you and your family.

Michael Moore's New Film: CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY

2009-09-29T15:44:00.000-04:00

"Capitalism: A Love Story," Michael Moore's look at the high cost of free enterprise on average Americans. Critics and pundits can fact-check and argue the fine print of this film until they're blue in the face, but the state of this nation -- where 1 percent of Americans control more wealth than the bottom 95 percent combined -- speaks for itself. Moore's inimitable style assures that this film will only preach to the choir, but I wish it were mandatory for all Americans so they learn about the way Citigroup -- which took $45 billion in handouts from the taxpayers -- giddily boasts about the United States' being a "plutonomy" (their only regret? that those of us in the bottom 95 percent have equal power to the rich on Election Day), the "dead peasant" life insurance policies many corporations take out on their employees (you die, they profit) or the Second Bill of Rights FDR proposed for Americans but died before achieving -- a job with a living wage, freedom from unfair competition and monopolies, a home, medical care, education and recreation -- rights that we made standard in our rebuilding of Europe after World War II, but never bothered to ensure for ourselves. My only complaint is that the film left me with an unbearable sense of helplessness rather than even a hint of inspiration, and not even the clever Mr. Moore seems to have any ideas on how to turn that around.
[Via Kenneth in the 212]

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine: News of the Weird

2009-09-29T14:04:00.002-04:00

Under "Compelling Explanations"

Improbably Successful Pick-up Line: In September, school officials in Australia's Queensland state said they were investigating an incident earlier in the year in which two teenagers had consensual sex that they recorded on a cell phone camera. The girl reportedly said she was convinced to lose her virginity out of fear that the world would soon end as a result of the scheduled re-start of the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland, later this year. [Courier-Mail (Brisbane), 9-2-09]

Under "People With Issues"

Three physicians, reporting in The Canadian Journal of Urology in July, described how they handled an emergency-room patient who arrived with a ballpoint pen in his urethra. The man, 57, had assumed that the insertion would be pleasurable, and when it wasn't, thought initially that maybe the pen was not in far enough. After pushing further, to even greater discomfort, he thought that if he pushed it all the way through, it would exit in his rectum, where he could remove it more easily. (Actually, they're not connected.) Doctors removed the pen with the same procedure used to remove kidney stones. [Canadian Journal of Urology (July 2009) via Neurotopia blog, 8-28-09]

[Via Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird]

LOOK MA, NO HANDS!

2009-09-29T13:34:00.002-04:00

Those wacky, inventive Japanese have done it again! This is for all you multitaskers & chronic masturbators with carpal tunnel! Behold the SOM....available in both a men's and women's version for the adventurous wanker in your life (remember, Christmas is right around the corner!).

Now, I'm of course wondering if my Kitchen Aid attachments will work on this and I can whip up a batch of special brownies when it's served it's other purpose!

Here's the company's description for the men's version:

1.		Completely hands free : high performance onanie machine.
2.		You can sit on the seat and enjoy as you like with hands free.
3.		Any speed is available for up-down slide movement (free level between 90 and 180 / min)
4.		Adjustment free to the height of body (290-340mm)
5.		Vibration of controller point (free level) adjustment free.
6.		Up-down slide of 65mm width.

(The Lady's SOM is described as "A high performance piston machine" hahahaha!)

Now, you're probably wondering "what's inside that thing?" Well, they cover that too!

"The material of hole and dildo is " septon " it is so safe that used in medical service.
It is new material that soft, strong, elastic and enjoy yourself with special gel and lotion for SOM. Inside of hole : innumerable pleats and protuberance excite you! It's soft touch gives you more luxurious pleasure the "real" does."

Wow, that sounds AWESOME! Unfortunately, I don't think it's proportions were made for the Western market so I'll just have to wait til this thing comes in adult sizes.

LCC Update: Holy Crap, Learnin' Is $pendy!

2009-09-29T00:54:00.001-04:00

Wow! I just crunched the numbers for the total cost of my course and the supplies I need for it vs. the financial aid money I'll be getting. Silly me had delusions of a new laptop or maybe a weekend trip to Chicago, perhaps dinner out or a great new pair of shoes....this was a serious reality check!

The great news is that I qualify for the highest amount for the Pell Grant, the bad news is I thought I got the whole thing at once. Apparently they split your "award" between 2 terms....bastards, don't they know I ~~NEED~~ want the new Donald J. Pliner boots! Anyway....I floated, nay, crashed back to reality and figured the smart/responsible thing to do was to get all my supplies ($239), get my car insured, new tires and tabs through 2010 ($600), save for the CNA exam ($200) and, oh yeah, then there's the course fee ($336) and finally tuition ($1231)

Grand Total................$2270 *YIKES!*

My "award" total for this term..............$2675

So, not much left for "living expenses" after all is said and done. I am quite grateful and lucky to have gotten the Pell Grant money, it could certainly be a lot worse and I can definitely make it work, it's just going to be a little harder than anticipated.

LCC Update: Finally some encouraging news!

2009-09-28T14:23:00.000-04:00

Today I logged into my LCC Acct. to check Financial Aid status, which for weeks has been "under review", and it has finally gone through! Although the course is still full to capacity, I called the Nursing Dept. and was again encouraged to attend the first day of class and told that chances of someone dropping and me getting in this term are very high...more good news!

The not so great news is that I underestimated the cost of the course by a little over $200 and the course fees and tuition do not cover any other supplies such as textbooks, scrubs, lab kit, etc... And to get my car legal, insured and tires replaced will be approx. $600 None of which will be available to me until I am officially registered which looks like that wont happen until the course is under way.

The other good news concerning Financial Aid is that instead of the 4-6week wait for disbursement as I was initially told, it will be less than 2 weeks to get the balance of my Pell Grant after course fees and tuition...this is fantastic news, I only wish I could get it sooner but thanks to some asshole waiting until the last minute to drop the bloody course I'm screwed.

Oh well, I'm trying to stay positive and focus on the GOOD news I received today as the last couple weeks I have been really stressing out over all of this and wondering if it was even going to be possible. I'll keep you posted!

This Week In Holy Crimes [Via Joe.My.God]

2009-09-28T01:58:00.001-04:00

Over the last seven days...

South Carolina: Pastor John David Helmuth busted in internet sting for trying to meet what he thought was a 13 year-old girl for sex.

Connecticut: Rev. Iura Godenciuc charged with defrauding school district of $76K.

New York: Father William Blasingame pleads guilty to stealing $86K from his diocese for plastic surgery and botox. Linked photo proves he did not spend wisely.

Massachusetts: Rabbi Stanley Zusia Levitt charged with sexually assaulting two pre-teen boys.

Illinois: Father Fred Lenczycki, the first Catholic priest ever declared "sexually violent," has been released from prison after only five years after confessing to sexually assaulting over 30 boys.

Pennsylvania: Rev. Vincent Navorro Meekin charged with embezzling funds donated to build his church a new roof.

Arizona: Father Dale Fushek to have five separate trials for sexual crimes against minors. Bonus: Fuskek is the founder of Teen Life Ministries.

Illinois: Father Daniel McCormick may be indefinitely confined under the state's Sexually Violent Persons Act. McCormick is due for release after confessing to molesting five boys ages 8-12, but the state fears he will reoffend.

North Carolina: Pastor Robert Reaves has fired his attorneys and wants to defend himself in the 2008 stabbing murder of a woman who was seeing a man Reaves was reportedly interested in. Reaves has previous convictions for sexually abusing boys.

New Jersey: Rev. John Harris Jr. charged with sexually harassing a church employee who says she was fired for refusing his advances.

North Carolina: Pastor Brian Andrew Klein sued by parishioner who claims he coerced her into a sexual relationship when she was a minor.

Israel: Rabbi Avichai Zehavi under house arrest after four families come forward with allegations of sexual abuse of minors.

New York: Angelo Serrano, Director of Religious Education at St. Lucy - St. Patrick Roman Catholic Church, charged with molesting 10 year-old boy. Cops say there may up to 17 other victims.

This Week's Winner -
Oklahoma: Pastor Ted Haggard tells local newspaper that he is now "completely free of homosexual compulsions." Haggard and his wife have been holding weekly "meetings" with fellow Christians in his Colorado Springs home. Haggard: "As a church, we're God's primary hand to help people with sin problems, whether it be gluttony, pride, hate, high-mindedness, selfishness, immorality (such as) fantasizing, porn, masturbation, homosexuality, bisexuality."

[Via Joe.My.God]

Un-Lucky Star: Cynthia Gibb

2009-09-27T20:22:00.000-04:00

Oh HELL to the no she didn't! Check out this fuckery train wreck of a cover "performed" by Fame Tv cast member and song murderer Cynthia Gibb. My ears are still bleeding from this shit!

Written by Madonna and released in April, 1984 as the 5th. and final single off her 1983 debut Madonna, "Lucky Star" reached #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

This horrific cover version comes courtesy of a season of the Tv series Fame, based on the hit movie from 1980.

Lip Dub: Université du Québec à Montréal "I Gotta Feeling"

2009-09-27T13:19:00.000-04:00

Just learned about this new "phenomenon" called lip dub...here's a great example that was filmed in ONE take!

A lip dub is a type of video that combines lip synching and audio dubbing to make a music video. It is made by filming individuals or a group of people lip synching while listening to a song or any recorded audio then dubbing over it in post editing with the original audio of the song. There is often some form of mobile audio device used such as an iPod. Often, they look like simple music videos, although many involve a lot of preparation and are well produced. The most popular lip dubs are done in a single unedited shot that often travels through different rooms and situations in, say, an office building. They have become popular with the advent of mass participatory video content sites like YouTube.

Retro Tune of the Day: De La Soul "The Magic Number"

2009-09-27T11:58:00.002-04:00

A truly awesome song and hip hop classic from 1989! Remember when hip hop was fun and had a positive message? This song is one of my faves and I cannot believe it's over 20 years old!

"The Magic Number" is a 1990 single by De La Soul, originally recorded in 1988 and first released on their 1989 album, 3 Feet High and Rising, with the chorus based on a segment from the children's show "Schoolhouse Rock!", written by Bob Dorough. In the song, the trio state that the number three is the magic number. The song heavily samples songs and vocal samples originally sampled in "Lesson 3" by Double Dee and Steinski, as well as sampling "Lesson 3" itself. (you'll also notice some other samples from this kick ass funk that were used as samples by several other groups....fun!)

The song reached #18 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip Hop chart,but charted a respectable #7 on the UK singles chart.

Facebook Etiquette: Things I think you should know

2009-09-27T11:20:00.003-04:00

So...yes, Facebook is great. I'm glad it's there and it's a useful tool to keep tabs on several people and what's going on in their lives. In fact, I'm probably on here way more than I should or need to be... a self professed internet addict! However, I do not believe it's a replacement for real world relationships and some of the same social rules that apply in real life should be adhered to on FB as well. So, here is MY list of Facebook Etiquette, though I'm sure it's not all inclusive as new things crop up almost daily. Feel free to add your own in the comments section!

Facebook Ettiquette:

1) Do not be a friend whore! It's not a competition, you don't score "coolness factor" by having over 500 "friends" on your FB page. In fact, I think you seem more desperate than anything! Unless you are a major celebrity (and chances are you're NOT) you should get real and do a massive purge of your "friends" list!

2) Do not be a friend "stealer"! (this ties in to #1) You really should only be friending people you actually know in the real world, not adding everyone of the friends of all of your friends...this is fucking ridiculous! If you don't know them or have a clue about them as a person, then WHY are you adding them? This just annoys me to no end, I mean really, are you really keeping up with the 758 people in your friends list? Doubtful.

3) Do not send a friends request or approve a friends request for someone you have no intention of ever communicating with! I'd like to think that if you've added me or approved my request to add me that you might actually give a damn. It's perfectly acceptable to ignore or deny a friends request. I'd much prefer to never be added then to be added under the false impression that you might actually care about what's going on in my life now.

4) If you've added someone and they've commented on your posts or posted something thoughtful on your page or perhaps even sent a message....TAKE THE FUCKING TIME TO COMMENT BACK!! It's so rude to completely ignore someone YOU APPROVED in the first place! I have people on my friends list like this and have before (they got purged) and let me tell you, it kinda hurts my feelings that I receive zero response from you when I take the time to comment or post something thoughtful. If you have no interest then just delete me! I'd much rather know I'm not receiving any communication because you are simply no longer on my friends list than to know you are there and just don't give a shit enough to ever comment....you will be purged!

5) I do not care to know you have taken 47 quizzes today! Did you know you have the option of NOT posting the results to everyone? Yes, ok, I am guilty of posting a couple here and there but when that's ALL I see as your status updates for 12 straight hours, I will most likely hide your status updates!

6) Posting inappropriate status messages. If your status messages (or the nasty little sex quizzes you are taking and posting the results) is anything of a sexual nature or perhaps stating you passed your herpes test....that is TMI, people! I do not care that according to a Facebook quiz the part of the human anatomy you are is the labia majora....it's just gross and inappropriate! GROW UP!

7) Constantly posting "poor me" status messages...UGH!! I'm sorry you are having a bad day, truly, and it's ok to know this once in a while, we've all been there and sometimes it's nice to receive encouragement from a few people. However, some people take this to the extreme and post NOTHING but the bad shit that is happening to them and this gets OLD! Take it from someone with bi-polar disorder, I fucking know what a downer life can be, trust me! And if you want to compare notes in that category chances are I will win! But for the most part I know people don't want a Debbie Downer on their friends list to get bummed out by every time they log on! It gets to a point when it's obvious that you are just fishing for people to comment and make you feel better....there's only so much encouraging other people I can take....got it?

8) Now, it may seem hypocritical to have this one after the diatribe I just went on over something similar, but....if someone is having a rather shitty day and once in a blue moon does post something to that effect and is not a habitual abuser of this technique, would it kill you to take 5 sec. and comment? I had a shit day last week and less than 5% of my "friends" on facebook commented. Fucking rude and pathetic! (says I) That just makes one feel even worse.

9) Do not post old, bad or potentially compromising and or embarrassing photo's of someone without first getting their explicit permission! This will get you deleted or start a virtual war in the least! It's not cute or funny, it's just plain rude and disrespectful. No thanks, I do not want a pic of me passed out on some bathroom floor 20 years ago circulating the internet!

Ok, that's all I can think of off the top of my head for now. Below is a video that may cover a few more things as well... As stated in the preface, I'm sure more will arise or perhaps I've left some out so feel free to offer your additions, comments, feed back or what have you in the comments section of the post (if you leave a comment, be sure to subscribe to the comments to get updated when other people comment on the same post)

I Hate Your Blog! : MC Frontalot Godfather of Nerdcore

2009-09-26T18:12:00.004-04:00

I just discovered this guy, MC Frontalot, the creator or "Godfather" of hip hop sub genre "nerdcore". Damian Hess (born December 3, 1973), better known by stage name MC Frontalot, is a San Francisco hip hop musician and self-proclaimed "world's 579th greatest rapper". This should make up for the Tom OC post from yesterday....I'm lovin' this guy! "I Hate Your Blog" is from his Secrets from the Future album released in 2007.

After "discovering" MC Frontalot and preparing for this post by reading his Wiki pg. I learned of the nerdcore documentary "Nerdcore Rising", so I decided to watch. Here is a quote by a "nerd" in the firat 5 min. of the film describing nerdcore.... "Nerdcore is like playing Halo while getting a blowjob from Hello Kitty" LMFAO!!!

Update: looked around a little more and of course had to include this song too! "I Heart Fags" from his 2005 debut Nerdcore Rising *NSFW*

Pimpin Rides: Wal-Mart parking lot

2009-09-26T09:01:00.000-04:00

These are some phat rides found in Wal-Mart parking lots...sweet!

[Via Peope of Wal-Mart]

Free to good home: Filthy Tank & contents!

2009-09-26T08:42:00.000-04:00

This fish tank is an albatross around my neck, a grimy moldy guilt inducing vile infuriating albatross. Except instead of being a sign of a transgression of my own against nature, it represents the irresponsibility of my flaky self-absorbed douchebag previous roommates who left it at the apartment after moving out. I've fed the depressing inhabitants (seriously, is there anything that makes you want to fling yourself in front of a fast approaching train more than looking at fish in a tank?) for the past year, but am moving and will be damned if I take them with me.

So, please, take this burden from me.

Details:

Tank: Standard 5 gallon glass fish tank. Covered. in. filth. Comes with the whole filter apparatus (which probably needs a new filter pad or whatever those things are called). Also has a bubble machine that apparently serves to distract the fish from the meaninglessness and futility of their existence.

Contents: Various rocks, Buddha head, plants, and all that other kitschy crap my douchebag roommate put in the tank. She was an art student with a mullet, so I assure you it is hip to the point of nausea. Also worth mentioning (I know, no pets allowed in the free section, but seriously, fish don't count): Tumor Fish and Twitch. The former: white angel fish with a large tumor on the left side of belly. This thing is a scientific wonder and will probably outlive us all. We thought it would die 1.5 years ago, the lump on its side constituting at least 30% of its body mass and forcing it to swim with the top of its body at a approx 70 degree angle to the right. The mass disappeared around 7 months ago but then grew back in February. I do not recommend staring into T.F's cataract film covered black eyes for more than 30 seconds lest you lose all will to live. The latter: Twitch is some generic fish that will never be remotely as interesting as T.F. but moves in spastic fits of motion.

All of this can be yours (Joy of Joys) if you are able to come by and deal with moving the cursed thing by Sunday (the 26th) evening. Email me if interested and I can send you pictures, details.

[Via Best of Craigs List]

Saturday Morning : Cartoon

2009-09-26T08:14:00.001-04:00

[Via xkcd]

That's Mr. Hip Hop to you! : Move over Jay Z here comes Tom OC!

2009-09-25T19:18:00.001-04:00

Tom OC - Ireland's biggest gangsta rap star sensation (not really). Tom OC dropped (that's gangsta rappa' talk YO) his newest single on CD and it has already become one of the top ranked....things to laugh at in Ireland. Before you tantalize your ears with Tom OC's gift, read his introduction:

**THIS IS AN UNMASTERED ROUGH VERSION AND VIDEO As A SAMPLER FOR THE DEBUT ALBUM WHICH IS DROPPIN IN LATE FALL 09! PLEASE DONT PLAYA HATE LIKE SOME OF THE OTHER COMMENTATERS HAVE, I AM JUST STARTING OUT IN DA RAP GAME AND THE FULL ALBUM GONE BE DONE SOON!! DONT FORGET TO COP THE ALBUM
This video is an ode to my hero.
RIP 2pac

Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over. Now, COP THIS:

Why does Tom OC sound like a dog meowing into a fan while having a seizure? Shit, I need to stop playa hatin' SON! And if you can't get enough of Tom OC, COP his website.
"Chillin with my homes! GANGSTA! bitchs!" - Tom OC

[Via Dlisted]

Memory lane: Steve's visit

2009-09-25T18:43:00.000-04:00

So an old friend from wayyyyyyyyyyy back in the day came into town from Chicago and we decided to take a trip through East Lansing and see what had changed, what remained the same and in some cases what needed to go but was still around for some reason. So after a quick lunch at BK we drove into town and walked around by all the places we used to hang in the 80's. Here are a few pix:

Pinball Pete's, cannot believe this place is still open! It's just not the same though, too clean & quiet and sadly the old photo booth is gone :(

Steve & I in my back yard (I'm holding Gromit aka Pig)

Rolling The Ball~

This Is The End..........

Week One: Stats On My Walking

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

Am I A Big Loser? : Spring Weight Loss Challenge From RTB~

RTB~ Exclusive!! : NEW OMD "Sister Mary (demo)"

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

Annie Gives Back: "Universal Child"

NEW Single From Sarah McLachlan: "Loving You Is Easy"

Happy Birthday: John Waters King Of Bad Taste

I'm Betty White, Bitch!: Betty White Lines

Business Sign FAIL!: Lunch Anyone?

Your Summer Jam: Andy Bell "Will You Be There?"

Will You Be There?

Today In Weird Wiki Pages: Death Erections

Just The Tip Tuesday W/ Robert Verdi : Having Good Manners

Music: New Releases

Vicious Eye Candy: Kelis "Acapella"

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

This Week In Holy Crimes

Hysterical $lag Parody: Tik Tok On Chatroulette **NSFW**

Get Yer Freak On!

Sex Sells: New Nail Polish For Your Inner Skank!

BleachBlack's New Nail Polish Color Is Called Jizz...

Maybe He's A Chubby Chaser?

A "What The F**k Was I Thinking??!" Moment

Kick A** Music: Cyndi Lauper "When You Were Mine"

Explosively Funny: The Best Thing You'll Read All Day

Heaters

Comments: Where the FU*K Are They!?

Business Sign FAIL!

Just The Tip: Planning The Chicest Funeral

Minor Changes @ Rolling The Ball~ : After The Jump

A McDonald's Moment: WTF??!

This Week In Holy Crimes; via Joe.My.God

3am Eternal: My Crazy Dream...

Amazing Animation: Oscar winning "Logorama"

Brand New Video: Penguin Prison "Something I'm Not"

Just The Tip Tuesday W/ Robert Verdi : Aging Gracefully

New Music Update: LCD Soundsystem

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

This Week In Holy Crimes

Controversial Book Review: Miguel Santana's "The Marién Revelation"

Theodore Jennings

Chicago Theological Seminary and Author of The Man Jesus Loved

Music: New Releases & Updates

Just The Tip Tuesday W/ Robert Verdi : Dressing Your Man

Your OMG!! WTF!?? Of The Week: Big Mouth Strikes Again

Retro Remix of the Week: Chris & Cosey

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

This Week In Fashion: Xanadon't!

Music Matters: Kate Bush

Today In Humor: That's Gay

Remix Of The Week: "The Phoenix Alive" by Monarchy

This Week In Fashion: Engrish Is The New Black!

Just The Tip: Staying Fit & Skinny As Sh*t

A Good RTB~ Day: Facebook Fans

Quote of the Day

Hot Look of the Day: Elza Soares

This Week in Holy Crimes: Via Joe.My.God

Italo Disco Earthquake: Hard Ton

Explained: The Catholic Church **NSFW**

Christian Boycott: Feminine Products

Awesome Animal FAILS!

Saturday Night: Fever

Gobsmacking: Teabaggers

Spring is here!

Psychic Drawing FAIL

You Should Be Watching: The Robert Verdi Show!

Hero's of the day: Lt. Dan Choi & Capt. Jim Pietrangelo

Top Model FAIL!

WTF!?: Nirvana gets Rick Rolled

Wet pussy...

More music news: new/upcoming releases

Highly Anticipated: Brendan Perry "Ark"

R.I.P. Alex Chilton

And...the return of Boy George...?

The return of RTB....

An historic weekend: National Equality March

Retro Tune of the Day: Kate Bush "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)"

Hysterical $lag Parody: Tik Tok On Chatroulette NSFW

Explained: The Catholic Church NSFW

Funny or Die: Wrong Hole NSFW