And the Darwin Award goes to....

(January 2002, Italy) A violent attack on an innocent man? Andreas, a 23-year-old ex-bouncer from Italy, was found lying in a pool of blood near a country road. Police initially mistook him for a victim of sadistic mutilation. His left leg had been nearly severed by a chainsaw. His last act was an emergency call to operators who heard only a "death rattle." By the time help arrived, copious bleeding had drained his body of blood.
Sad plight? Not quite.The incredible truth was far odder.

Andreas had conspired with his cousin in an insurance scam. The 29-year-old accomplice confessed that he was the "assailant" who attacked--and inadvertently killed--the younger man in a mutually planned insurance fraud that went badly awry.

Andreas had convinced his cousin to cut his left leg off with a chainsaw in order to reap nearly a million dollars from numerous insurance policies. Permanent disability was all that was required. Andreas relied on his cunning, and his knowledge of first aid, to survive the chainsaw incident.
The attack took place near a country lay-by. The cousin sawed Andreas' leg below the knee, and severed a major artery in a gambit timed too close for survival. Emergency crews arrived to find Andreas dead and his cousin fled, tossing the chainsaw in a river on the way out of town.
The cousin now languishes in a cell on homicide charges. Andreas' death was a classic example of fate noticing those who buy chain saws.

[via Darwin Awards ]

Retro tune of the day: Doctor & The Medics

Well, when I first thought to include Doctor & The Medics in the retro line up I thought the obvious choice would be to post their great cover of Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit In The Sky"....but that's just too expected so I opted for the lesser known "Burn" ....and I really love this song from their major label debut for IRS records (coincidentally also the label for yesterdays retro post) titled "Laughing At The Pieces"

While the former was a world wide smash, reaching #1 in 32 countries, the latter only charted as high as #29 on the UK charts.  I still love it and it's one of my faves off that album.  Gotta love the psychedelic inspired garb, the huge 80's hair and KISS meets kabuki makeup!

Feeling defeated today...

So, I'm feeling pretty down and defeated today.  I'm really trying to stay focused, positive and hopeful about attending LCC this semester but it's not looking good.

I am financially unable to procure the necessary text books and supplies (scrubs, gait belt, shoes, lab kit, etc...) until I am assured financial aid reimbursement.  I cannot be assured financial aid until I am registered for the course.  I cannot register for the course until at least two people drop which may not happen until the course start date by which time I am expected to have all my supplies for the course.

One of the supplies, the gait belt, requires purchase with LCC's Starcard.  I cannot obtain a Starcard until I am registered.

And, to top it all off my ex, Lori, is being sent to Africa for work on Oct. 30th. and returning Nov. 16th  That is about the halfway point of my course when I have a midterm due not to mention class, labs & on site training 4 days a week from 8:10am to 3:30pm.  And it's looking like I will be responsible for watching the kids from about 4pm-7:30am for approx. 15 of those days.

I just don't see how the fuck this will be possible and I'm losing hope of fulfilling my goal at this time.  Although I am happy for the opportunity Lori has been offered, I can't help but be upset at the poor timing and am especially pissed and still bitter over the fact that I was the last to know this information!!  I've known this for less than a week, all the while making plans, fulfilling pre req's and working hard towards my goal of getting into this course.  Everyone else has known for weeks and I was kept in the dark for reasons unknown to me.

I just want to throw my hands up and give in at this point.  I really don't know what to do or think any more.  Lo is coming over this Sunday to discuss the schedule.  I'm also more than a little pissed at the fact her mother refuses to watch the kids over night AT ALL while Lo is gone.  It is HER daughter that is going away NOT my mothers!  GRRRR!!!

Ok, I just needed to vent, get some of this off my chest and will hopefully feel a little better getting it out there....now pass the boozamahol!!

You heard it here first!

According to a source from The Mirror Madonna and Janet Jackson met over dinner and allegedly discussed collaborating on a tribute song for Michael Jackson.  Hmmmm, this could be very interesting!   I'll keep you posted on any developments.....stay tuned!

Friday Mashup

Via Popbytes comes today's mashup: "I Got More Than A Feeling"  Combining two songs, Boston's "More Than A Feeling" and Black Eyed Peas' "I Got A Feeling", neither of which I'm crazy about separately but together make mashup magic thanks to Dutch producer Mad Mix Mustang.   Click here to get your party started!

MMMMMMM, cookies!

We all love cookies, right?  And homemade are the best!  Well, today I came across a new and unique recipe from the ever hilarious Betty Bowers (the worlds best Christian!) called "The Brutal Death of Our Savior Cookies"  As Betty says "A Christians place is in the kitchen, supervising the help!"  So, if you're in the mood to do some baking click here for the recipe!  Enjoy and be sure to share with your heathen friends!

Retro tune of the day: FYC "Johnny Come Home"

I remember the first time I signed up for Columbia House's music club from an ad in Rolling Stone mag in the mid eighties...I had never heard of Fine Young Cannibals, but the name intrigued me and was enough to warrant a spot on my order list.  Well, the order arrived (I don't have any clue what else I ordered) and I've been hooked on this album ever since!  Debuting in 1985 this song went to #8 on the UK charts but only hit # 76 on the US Hot 100

Although I love this song and the album that spawned it, I HATE, HATE, HATE their follow up "The Raw and the Cooked" with that god awful hit "Good Thing"...BLECH!  Trivia: Apparently Jenny Jones (yes, THAT Jenny Jones) sang backing vocals and played drums on this album!  More Trivia: Fine Young Cannibals appeared as the house band in a nightclub in the 1987 comedy film "Tin Men"

Jude goes bowling @ Kiara's b-day party

Jude goes bowling

Showing my age or becoming more conservative?

Now, if you know me, you'll know I've been a Madge fan since the early 80's (OMG!  over 25 yrs!) and I have always applauded her creativity, media manipulation and boundary pushing, in your face sexuality at every stage of her career...she simply exudes sex from every pore.  I haven't always loved everything she's done, but you could say I've pretty much been "in her corner", defending her choices and remaining true.

Well, the time has finally come when I must disagree and strongly disapprove of something Madonna has done.  I see no plausible excuse for this decision in bad taste!  As a father of an impressionable young girl I find this highly offensive:



Up until Lourdes' cameo (all tarted up in Mama Madge's "Like a Virgin" look, Boy Toy belt included) I rather liked this second official video for her new single "Celebration"  But I must say I am both shocked and dismayed at her decision to have her 12 y/o daughter paraded around for the world to see in arguably one of her "sluttier" looks.....It pains me to say it, but SHAME ON YOU MADONNA!!  What do you think?  Would you feel differently if you had a young daughter?  Comment & let me know your thoughts!

Cautiously optimistic: LCC Orientation

So, I just got back from a 2 hr. course orientation @ LCC for Acute/Long Term Care CNA.  The issue of parking/detours was not as bad as I had expected and I arrived 20 min. early and found a spot in the Grand Ave. lot no problem.  Even better was the fact that right outside the parking lot was the building where I will be attending classes...win, win!

I arrived in plenty of time to the appropriate floor/classroom (1st one there!)  Apparently there had been some issue w/ getting the info to registered students for the course that there was orientation today and only about 10 of the 25 registered showed up (good news for me I hope!).

There was one other woman who attended who was also not registered, but the prof. stated whoever had contacted her first would get any available seat in the course and stated that was ME...woo hoo!

We covered a lot of information including pre req's, text books, scrub and footwear requirements (navy blue scrubs and *horrors!* white shoes)  I also found out that they had not stated correctly the TB test requirement and I will need to go take a second 2 step TB test, which is just more of an inconvenient annoyance than any real big deal.

The other pre req's include passing a blood born pathogens test and HIPAA/OSHA tests as well, all of which are available free of charge online, phew!

All in all I think it went well, and I have renewed hope that I will in fact get a spot this term.  I'll keep ya posted!

Me, ready for orientation @ LCC