Monday, April 12, 2010

A McDonald's Moment: WTF??!

So I'm up in Mancelona, MI visiting an old friend and today we went into Alden to run an errand and stopped at McDonald's for a quick bite.  We get our food, sit down, beigin eating and having a conversation (I can't even really remember what we were talking about) when all of a sudden this 80 y/o man walks up to our table, leans in and says "I asked my grandson if he knew who Bing crosby was".  We thought he was asking US if we knew who Bing was so we replied "yes". "No! I asked my grandson if he knew who Bing Crosby was and he said Grandpa I don't know any of The Beatles"  Uhhhhh, ha...ha...ha??  We politely laugh, though not really getting the relelvance...I just pass it off as a crazy old person who had either forgotten his meds, or perhaps doubled up!  My friend passes it off as "friendly small town people", hmmm.... I'm all for friendly, but this was just WEIRD!

We shrug it off and continue eating and talking about past jobs and whatever when the old man gets up from his table, comes back over to us, leans down again and says "Want to know how to have good sex with Vaseline?"  At this point I'm really creeped out, dreading the answer & honestly expecting some really bad anti-gay punchline.... He says "do you want to know the answer!?" So we acquiesce and say "uh, sure" "you put it on the door knob to keep the kids out" was the answer....We politely, half heartedly laugh again as he shuffles off to his seat.

I quickly finished my meal to get the fuck out of there and away from the most bizarre fast food experience of my life!  I was kinda creeped out by the whole thing as I am quite protective of my personal space bubble in public and felt it had been intruded upon....oh well, I suppose it was harmless and certainly gave me a story to tell.


  1. Love that story Christopher! People in Macomb are like that too, they will just come right up to you and start talking and stuff. It made me nervous at first, but now I just pretend to listen and move on! :) Can't wait to here what other adventures you have while in the NORTH!

  2. That was probably the highlight of his day.
    I'm proud of you enduring it, to amuse/appease him.
    I can't imagine myself at 80+, having to venture into a local MickeyD's for human contact.
    Note to self = prepare for prevention of this, in my old age.

  3. That Vaseline joke is adorable! And I can tell anyone that, it's so "clean dirty"!