Friday, September 18, 2009

Feeling defeated today...

So, I'm feeling pretty down and defeated today.  I'm really trying to stay focused, positive and hopeful about attending LCC this semester but it's not looking good.

I am financially unable to procure the necessary text books and supplies (scrubs, gait belt, shoes, lab kit, etc...) until I am assured financial aid reimbursement.  I cannot be assured financial aid until I am registered for the course.  I cannot register for the course until at least two people drop which may not happen until the course start date by which time I am expected to have all my supplies for the course.

One of the supplies, the gait belt, requires purchase with LCC's Starcard.  I cannot obtain a Starcard until I am registered.

And, to top it all off my ex, Lori, is being sent to Africa for work on Oct. 30th. and returning Nov. 16th  That is about the halfway point of my course when I have a midterm due not to mention class, labs & on site training 4 days a week from 8:10am to 3:30pm.  And it's looking like I will be responsible for watching the kids from about 4pm-7:30am for approx. 15 of those days.

I just don't see how the fuck this will be possible and I'm losing hope of fulfilling my goal at this time.  Although I am happy for the opportunity Lori has been offered, I can't help but be upset at the poor timing and am especially pissed and still bitter over the fact that I was the last to know this information!!  I've known this for less than a week, all the while making plans, fulfilling pre req's and working hard towards my goal of getting into this course.  Everyone else has known for weeks and I was kept in the dark for reasons unknown to me.

I just want to throw my hands up and give in at this point.  I really don't know what to do or think any more.  Lo is coming over this Sunday to discuss the schedule.  I'm also more than a little pissed at the fact her mother refuses to watch the kids over night AT ALL while Lo is gone.  It is HER daughter that is going away NOT my mothers!  GRRRR!!!

Ok, I just needed to vent, get some of this off my chest and will hopefully feel a little better getting it out pass the boozamahol!!


  1. Maybe you could convince Lo to take out a couple of students from the class, nothing too serious. Problem solved. You're in the class and can buy your supplies, Lo is on bail and unable to leave the country so no issues with watching the kids. It works for me (sorry Lo).

  2. ha! i so needed that bit of levity injected into the scenario! sign your posts!

  3. but it smacks of my brother, so that's my guess!

  4. Don't smack your brother, especially when he's right!

    Even better, get the Crazy Bitch to do it with Lo as a material witness. Better all around. You get in, the Crazy Bitch is out of your lives, and the mother of your children remains free, just not to leave the area for a while. As an added bonus, I doubt they allow inmates to give any kind of food to visitors, so no more dietary concerns either.

  5. Did I miss something? Who's the Crazy Bitch here? Dietary concerns, huh?

  6. I think this may be a reference to your xmil (crazy butch) and her overfeeding of beasties.

    See we do pay attention!!